


Chat Noir/Adrien Agreste x Male!Reader

by SpaceAlienBoy



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bisexual Adrien Agreste, Depressing, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Gay Male Character, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Original Kwamis, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, this isn't okay, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceAlienBoy/pseuds/SpaceAlienBoy
Summary: (Y/N) (L/N)*Don't let me write descriptions. I honestly cannot do it*Bring tissues if you're a new reader. Just saying.∞





	1. Chapter 1

Feeling around for your phone, you shut off the alarm hastily, throwing off the covers and forcing yourself to no pull them back up as the cold air hit your bare chest. Groaning softly as you sat up, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you ruffled your thick hair, glancing at the clock.  **4:33.** Barely three minutes have passed and that was how long it took for you to get up and out of bed. Fuck it was early. Too early to get ready for school, but again, you wanted to avoid family. You don't even know why you call them that, they couldn't be considered a family.

Striding over to your closet, you grabbed some [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/43/61/40/4361407420867b954c14ab5c638f0f69.jpg), throwing them on and ruffled your hair, rubbing your eyes. Softly picking up Foxxie, you placed them in your pocket and threw two chocolate bars into your bag, slinging that over your shoulder. Heading out of the house by 4:59, you made sure no one knew. Not like they'd miss you.

You lived in a large apartment in Saint-Georges, a good hour and seven-minute walk to College Francoise Dupon and another 43 minutes to get to your favorite bakery, Boulangerie Poilâne. So, in all, close to a two-hour walk, with another 43 minutes back to the school. By the time you actually got to school, it was 7:48 and you still had 12 minutes till classes start. You took your normal seat, noticing Alya and Marinette already there while Nino and Adrien weren't at school yet. Witha soft and relieved sigh, you dropped your head on the desk and (accidentally) fell asleep.

The feeling of a hand shaking your shoulder woke you up in not a very calm way. Freaking out about who was touching you, you jumped to the side and off the seat, smacking the back of your head against the one across from you. You didn't acknowledge the pain throbbing in your skull, your arm up and covering your face in defense, eyes wide and locked onto Adrien's green ones. The class was silent, everyone holding their breath. You were breathing harder than you should have been.

Tears stung your eyes as you began realizing how many people were staring at you and you could almost tell when Chloe was about to call you out. Not wanting to stay for that, you shot up and grabbed your bag, running out of the classroom and into the boy's bathroom, throwing your bag across the room. You were hyperventilating, a panic attack rising at your throat. Your hands tangled themselves in your hair, pulling at it, the itch to inflict some type of pain on yourself pressing hard in your brain. A sob wrenched through your mouth, many more soon following after. Your back slammed against the wall and you slid down, curling up into a ball.

"Y/n! Y/n, you need to calm down, breathe!" Foxxie's voice was distant but frantic, their tiny paws pressing against your cheek.

"I think he went in here," another voice shouted, near the bathroom door.

Foxxie flew off to hide as the door swung open pretty violently two sets of footsteps echoing as they ran towards you.

"Y/n? Y/n." someone grabbed your wrist softly, trying to pry your hands from your hair.

A scream slipped through your throat as you thrashed away from them, trying to get away, but they held a tight grip. You thought they were going to smack you or hit you. You braced for it, tensing up but continued to try and get away. It was bad, you haven't had an attack like this in a long time. Normally people wouldn't try to touch you or go around you because of how cold you were to them.

Whoever was with the first person wrapped their arms around your shoulders and held you against their chest, restricting your movement, and practically making the situation worse. They said something to the first person and their hands disappeared from your wrists, allowing you more movement. Instantly, your hands shot up to grab the second person's arms, scratching a pulling at them but they did nothing but hold you tightly.

"Y/n, I need you to calm down; listen to my voice and know you're okay. You aren't hurt, no one's hurting you, nothing bad is happening," they muttered. Their voice sounded familiar, like two people you knew but... you couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Other than recognition, the softness and calming tone they used broke through the thoughts that blocked your mind. "Breathe, Y/n, you're holding it." You listened to them and exhaled, relaxing against them. "Good, good. You're calm, that-that's good."

"How the hell?" A second person murmured.

You felt the person holding you shrug, but kept their arms around you. It wasn't as tight as it first was, now a soft hold, but you could tell they weren't letting you go anytime soon.

Your eyes opened and were trained on the floor, not daring to look up as they were probably really red and puffy. Moving your arms around a bit, you pushed the person off of you softly, to which they reluctantly complied, and began to stand, using the wall as a support.

"...Thanks..." you sighed, grabbing your bag, keeping your back to the people.

One person cleared their throat, replying, "You should probably go home and get some rest."

You said nothing, keeping your head down as you pushed past them and walked out of the school, walking for a bit before stopping in an alley. Dropping your bag just to transform, you leaned against the wall and took a shaky sigh, running a hand through your hair as Foxxy floated in front of you.

"I need to get out of here," you muttered, "Foxxy, start the hunt!"

Grabbing your bag again, you climbed up to the rooftops and began running, hopping from one to another quickly. You made your way to the Eiffel Tower, hiding your bag somewhere and climbing the tower. You sat on one of the beams, one leg hanging off and swinging while the other was pulled up to your chest. Detransforming, you caught Foxxie and put them in your pocket with a piece of chocolate even though you didn't really do anything. They said nothing, respecting your space you silently wanted.

Of course, it wasn't given to you anyway. Chat Noir landed on the beam beside you and sat down, scooting closer.  "Hey there, you look a little lonely. How about I  _purr_ -suade you to let me  _chat_ with you?"

Practically snorting, you eyed him with a confused, yet amused, look. "You used your own name for a pun. How  _paw_ -sitively awful." You buried your mouth into your knee, hiding the large smile.

Chat laughed. "You seemed a bit down, so I figured you needed a little pick-me-up. Puns are usually something that makes me feel better so I tried it on you."

You shook your head, smile dispersing. "Thanks, but don't waste your time."

He pursed his lips, leaning closer to you. "I have all the time to waste."

Leaning back against a support beam, you raised an eyebrow. "Really? Shouldn't you be out saving Paris from crimes or something?"

He shrugged. "Haven't seen or run into any. Plus Ladybug and..." he rolled his eyes and sneered, "... _Lupus_ haven't been around or shown up. I'm just running around and was on patrol when I saw you just sitting here."

"Again," you said, "shouldn't you be out on patrol then?"

He shook his head. "First, I want to know why you're upset."

He was prying, you realized. Frowning, you shook your head and shifted a bit. You never liked when people kept trying to pry into your life, or what was going on with you. You found it quite intrusive and always blocked the person out when you found out what they were doing. Normally, you left but you were kinda stuck and unable to look down without getting nauseous. You made the mistake of looking down and gagged, turning to hide your face in your arm.

Chat took notice of this, scooting closer again. "Are you... afraid of heights?" He asked, genuinely quite concerned. Raising your hand, but not your face, you tilted your hand from side to side, signaling 'kinda' then dropped your arm. "You need help getting down?" He moved to stand, but you put a hand on his arm, stopping him, shaking your head. "But, how are you going to get down and home?" He sat back down beside you, turning to fully face you. Again, you waved it off. "Y/n-"

Both of you froze. 1, you never told him your name. 2, his voice sounded familiar with the way he said it like you heard it earlier today...

"How... do you know my name?" You asked, finally moving to face him.

Chat stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I uh, um, I-I know some-someone and they-they, uh, know you! Yeah... They've mentioned your name a few times."

"Who?"

"Oh! Uh, um, A-Adrien! Adrien, you know him right?" He seemed so nervous about it.

You raised an eyebrow. "Adrien Agreste?"

He nodded without a word, looking away. He was hiding something, and you would guess he's lying about knowing Adrien and knew you somehow behind the mask. Instead of pointing it out, you shrugged and ignored it. You heard him sigh with relief, further adding to your guess. 

The sun began to set as you two sat in silence, the sky painted a bright red, orange, blue, purple and pink. You winced visibly as you looked down at the disappearing concrete, clinging to the beam tighter. Chat had left once and had come back soon after, you knew why but said nothing.

Chat began standing up, turning to you. "You should start heading home, it's getting dark." He stated.

No shit Sherlock, is what you wanted to say, but bit your tongue, keeping your position of being curled up against the beam, clinging to it tightly. Chat crouched back down next to you, placing a hand on your arm, where you could see it, and shook you lightly.

"Y/n, stand up. I'll take you home." He held out his hand for you to take, standing up gracefully.

You didn't want to trust him on this, you couldn't even see the ground anymore- it was all black and dark and scary. A never ending pit of emptiness. Raising your gaze, you slowly took his offer and grabbed his hand tightly, clinging to him the moment you stood up. The wind blew softly, causing your arms to tighten around his midsection.

"Afraid of heights," he confirmed, picking you up like a child. "Hold on tightly because I'm jumping."

You didn't have anymore muscle to hold on tighter, they already were hurting. You barely held in a scream, mostly because you were right next to his ear and didn't feel like it was a good idea to rape it with a high pitched sound, as he jumped off, using his staff as a support. Each time you felt his hit a roof and start running, you looked up (barely) but the minute his feet left the ground, you were back to hiding in his neck. It took everything in you to A: not scream and B: not bite his neck in order to not scream.

"Alright, I need you to tell me where you live since you don't seem to want to go alone. Nor do I intend to leave you."

"Y-you know where, where um, Saint Georges is at on Cité Pigalle?" You felt him nod. "It's the second floor of the stone building, my room is the last on in the left corner- you should see some f/c curtains."

Again, he nodded and headed in that direction, dropping onto your balcony when he got there. Slowly, you slid down from him and leaned on the railing, catching your breath, and (being almost a foot shorter than him as he was almost 6 feet tall) looked up at him, thanking him quietly.

The cat flashed a bright smile. "It was nothing, Mon chéri." He bowed to you, to which you responded with backing up and a confused look, winking at you as he straightened himself. "I should be leaving, it's pretty late but, thank you for letting me join you, Y/n."

You smiled softly and nodded, waving as he left. You face fell in realization as Foxxie flew out of your pocket and in front of you.

"You forgot your bag."

"FUCKING SHIT!"


	2. Chapter 2

Beaten. Broken. Used. Abused. Walked over. Left behind. Forgotten. Hated. Torn. Hurt. What's the point of trusting people if that's all that happens to you? All they ever do is forget and leave you behind. You didn't need friends anyway.

Starting at a new school made it easier to avoid people, you didn't know anyone and they didn't know you so, all you had to do was walk away and hope they don't follow or annoy you. You could care less for other people. Being used to getting hurt does that to people. You were used to the pain but could care less about it. Even hurting other people by accident wasn't much of a big deal anymore.

Standing in front of the class, your hands were hidden deep within your hoodie pockets, staring blankly at the ground. The teacher went off about you since you gave her the permission, not wanting to speak. She was showing you off. Just like everyone else.

She seated you beside a boy named Adrien Agreste (the last name rung a few unknown bells, but you decided it wasn't worth figuring it out) and resumed class as you sat down on the edge of the seat, trying to stay as far from the boy as possible. He tried to talk to you a few times but gave up when you ignored him and went back to listening to the teacher.

The class droned on for a while but once the bell rang, you were the first out of the class and heading home. Your steps were only stopped short as a piece of debris barely grazed your cheek, splitting the skin. You were barely able to move out of the way when another practically smacked you in the chest, although you were pushed out of the way and it hit someone else in the chest.

You ran back to help them up and drag them to cover, practically sighing when you saw it was Adrien. He sat where you put him and rubbed his chest, [smiling ](http://pa1.narvii.com/6179/b262cf9bfcfce6c9bca0c58961c04fe03dfa1bf9_hq.gif)at you with slight embarrassment. You shook your head, rubbing your forehead.

"Don't do that, I can handle myself," you said, turning to run.

Adrien stood and held your arm, stopping you, his smile now gone. "You would've gotten really hurt, and the Akuma could've gotten to you," he replied sternly. "I'm just trying to make sure you're also safe."

You ripped your arm from his hand. "Well, then stay away from me."

Not waiting for a response, you ran off to another hiding spot, making sure he didn't follow you.

"You didn't have to be so rude."

The small voice from the little Kwami caught your attention. The silver-looking tiny animal crossed their arms and glared at you, pouting a bit.

"And?" You replied, pulling at the choker around your neck, which was (right now) a plain black with a [wolf pendant](https://img1.etsystatic.com/123/0/10329966/il_340x270.918637805_lj4q.jpg) hanging from it. "We don't have time to dwell on it, so if you have anything else to say about it, say it later because we gotta go."

The Kwami nodded. "Alright then, and, at least talk to the other heroes. Please?"

You rolled your eyes. "Fine. Foxxie, start the hunt!"

The wolf was sucked into the pendant, instantly changing the colors to a bright silver necklace (piece thingy, I forgot the name) and the pendant glowed, the [triquetra ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/23/55/e3/2355e3a7655e681b907d63ad61465211--triquetra-tattoo-designs.jpg)lighting up [five ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BYlZWzWH5s0/)different segments, the circle split in half. Your suit was spandex (luckily not showing or outlining your dick so there wasn't a bulge (I mean unless you got hard) but that was bound to never happen), ended just along your collarbones in a V shape. The boots added an inch to your height (considering how fucking short you were compared to the average male), the gloves you wore pointed sharply at the fingertips. The silver mask covered around your eyes, and speaking of your eyes, they filled in with a teal color, not daring to leave any space white. Your black hair was streaked with silver and white, leaving it unrecognizable and pretty shaggy and fluffy, but that was beside the point. Luckily, your hair covered your human ears so when the wolf ones appeared on your head (also very soft and fluffy), it didn't look weird. Almost lastly, was the big, silver, fluffy, large tail hanging to your mid-calf.

Now, lastly, holsters strapped to your thighs sat there and in your hands, the twin silver [guns.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3b/21/d4/3b21d4456853045621be5674933b4b15--vintage-silver-custom-guns.jpg) They didn't kill anyone, just mostly stunned them. They weren't meant for killing. Unless shot at an actual small animal. Then yeah.

Jumping up onto a building, you followed where the Akuma was, diving to the side (and onto another person) as some type of weapon was shot at you, barely grazing your arm, already splitting the suit. You and the person you flew into rolled across a rooftop for a bit before dropping off and landing on the concrete. At least, you hit the concrete, the other person landed on top of you in an... awkward position. They - _he-_ (you recognized the black cat superhero) straddled your waist, elbows on each side of your head, nose barely brushing yours. His green eyes stared into your teal ones for a few seconds in shock before a smirk etched its way on his lips.

"I see you're already  _falling_ for me,  mon loup," he purred.

"Aaaaand, sexy moment with a cute cat has ended," you commented, pushing his face away with your hand, standing up and brushing your backside off.

The girl swung down to both of you, grabbing both of your necks and shoving you into an alley, while also watching as the victim ran off. You rubbed the back of your neck, pouting at her.

"Alright, who are you?" She demanded.

Holding up your hands in surrender, you leaned against the wall, raising your [leg](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0d/0e/b0/0d0eb0108d714bc7c418a15629eab683.jpg) so your foot rested against the wall. "The name's Lupus. I was a hero in the United States, moved here not too long ago. Sure I'll have a great time working with you guys unless you don't want me; then I can work on my own."

She narrowed her eyes, then sighed. "I'm Ladybug, this is Chat Noir."

"Nice to meet ya." You grabbed your right gun and pointed it towards the opening of the alley, shooting the villain, who just decided to find you all, stunning them and ceasing all their movement. "Don't worry, they aren't dead," you told the two heroes.

They stared at you with wide eyes and were silent for a bit before Chat broke it. "Okay, we gotta keep him."

Ladybug shook her head and went over, grabbing the item, staring at the stunned person. "You sure they aren't dead?"

"Pretty sure these can't kill anything or anyone unless I'm really really trying. Which means I would have to shoot them in the heart over five times and even then it's debatable. The bullets aren't even bullets and all they do is send a slight shock through the body large enough to stun them." You shrugged and pushed yourself off the wall, striding towards Ladybug, who continued to crush the item. "They'll be fine."

"Miraculous Ladybug!!" The girl shouted, throwing her yo-yo in the air.

You watched as everything was fixed and stretched your arms, arching your back. "Well, since that's done, imma go-"

Ladybug grabbed the back of your suit, pulling you back as you tried to walk off. "Nu uh. You're gonna stay and we're going to get to know you since we have some time left."

"Well, fuck," you commented, crossing your arms.

"Language," Chat growled.

You mocked him, causing Ladybug to giggle. She pointed to the roof and with a silent agreement, you all made your way back up and just sat on the roof. It was a small triangle, Chat was more reluctant to sitting further away from you, not exactly fond of you.

"Is the kitty scared of me?" You said, pretty sarcastically.

Before he could reply, Ladybug slapped a hand over his mouth and replied, "Well, you are predator and prey so, I wouldn't be surprised."

Scoffing you leaned back on your hands. "Didn't seem that way when he was straddling me."

Okay, that pissed of Chat and probably made Ladybug close to pissing herself from laughing so hard. "well aren't you just a comedian," Chat sneered.

"At least one of us is actually funny," you replied.

Ladybug had fallen on her side by now, holding her sides as she laughed. "Chat, you just got burned and it was bad."

With a smirk, you added, "Need some ice?"

Now Chat got up and left, shouting he would see Ladybug when they were gonna patrol, flipping you off as he left. You returned the gesture and turned back to Ladybug, who was just getting over her laughing fit.

"So, I'm a sarcastic asshole who finds humor in other people's pain, I'm competitive so don't be surprised if I fight you two over the last hit unless everything is planned and we all know what we're doing and supposed to do." You shrugged. "I'm also not good with teamwork at all so if you find me trying to work on my own, it's because I've been doing it myself for about two years."

Ladybug nodded and stood up as her earrings beeped. "I'll keep that in mind but, try not to get on Chat's nerves a lot, please?"

Shrugging again, you bid your goodbye's as she had to leave, close to detransforming. You still had awhile to go, so you decided it would be nice to run around and learn where everything was. You weren't exactly familiar with everything from living there for only a day.

~~~

You landed on your balcony, going inside before detransforming, holding the small Kwami, who was exhausted and ready for sleep and food. Setting them down on the night stand where you had made a small bed for them, rummaging through your drawer for some chocolate. Foxxie grabbed the small square and scarfed it down quickly, exhaling loudly when they were done.

"Ladybug seems nice," they commented after a second of silence.

You hummed a responce and stared at your clock. The bright red numbers flashed 5:38 and slightly lit up your bed a soft red. Dinner should be ready soon, but you were nowhere near ready to go downstairs. You didn't feel like dealing with your parents or siblings at all. You'd rather eat alone in your room and sleep. You moved your gaze to the floor.

In all honesty, you had no motivation to even move from where you sat on the bed. You were hunched over, staring at the floor, elbows on your knees, hair shadowing your face. You didn't even know why you felt- wait, never mind, you did, just... couldn't really place it. It was the same reason every time. Your family. They were unsupportive and hated you for no reason. At least you had Foxxie. They were all you needed, you didn't need or want anyone else in your life.

You sat there in silence for over half an hour until Foxxie snapped you out of the daze you were in.

"Go get food," they said quietly, nudging your arm.

Sighing, you stood and stalked downstairs, dreading what might happen, even though you were prepared for it all.

What surprised you was that no one was in the kitchen, food was set out for you on a plate and it was actually cooked recently and good, with a sticky note beside it.

_'Good evening Y/n. We left you some food to eat, your brothers, your father and I went out to go eat so you'll be alone until about eight or nine. We're also going out to an arcade so don't wait around for us. - Mother'_

Oh. Well. There was the good part of not dealing with them... but you were left again.

Taking the plate, you were glad to see it was still warm and you made your way back up to your room, locking yourself in.

"Are they home?" Foxxie questioned, flying over to sit on your shoulder.

You said nothing a started eating small bites, barely finishing half of it and calling it done. You placed it on your desk and strode to the bathroom, leaving Foxxie to stay in the room as you ran a bath, debating on whether or not you should drown yourself or wait for later.

Watching the water rise and fill the tub, you dropped a black bath bomb in it and decided to wait on the drowning. Who knows? You just met Ladybug and Chat and you'd love to see how that will end.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Des-pa-cito_  
Quiero respirar tu Cuello despacito  
Deja Que te diga cosas al oído  
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo  
Des-pa-cito  
Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito  
Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto  
Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito-"

You turned off the music, panting and sweating, your [clothing](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/70/4c/2f/704c2fc4ab8544925d73e2e0e131993d--kpop-clothes-kpop-exo.jpg) sticking to your skin, despite the cool air blowing against it (which felt amazing). Running a hand through your hair, you bent over and leaned on your knees, your legs practically giving out under you. Foxxie flew next to you and clapped, smiling widely.

"You did amazing!! Only a few slip ups we need to work on," they cheered.

You nodded. "Those parts are just where I'm struggling the most."

Straightening yourself again, you checked your phone, smiling wider than normal as you read the message sent.

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ Just checking up on you, haven't heard anything in about three days, pretty scared. _ **

_**Sent 16:45** _

_**xSaltKingx** _

_**Hey, dude. sorry 'bout that! We just got here a few days ago and had been  
unpacking and getting things situated.** _

_**Sent Now  
Seen 43 seconds ago** _

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

****__ YOU'RE ALIVE!!!! I thought the plane crashed and you guys died. Anyway, despite  
being scared, how was your first two days? Did it go smoothly like we hoped or did  
something bad happen like usual? If you're being bullied, I will murder them  
I swear. 

**_ Sent Now  
Seen 32 second ago _ **

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

**_ Nothing too bad. Panic attack the second day. Akuma attack  
the first day. Didn't get hurt, luckily. _ **

**_ Sent Now  
Seen 15 seconds ago _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

****__ AKUMA ATTACK AND YOU SAID NOTHING?!?!?!?!?!  
That's it, I'm finding you in Paris. Don't need you dying on  
me yet.

**_ Sent Now  
Seen 27 seconds ago _ **

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

**_ Can't meet up though. Remember? _ **

**_ Sent Now _ **  
**_ Seen 14 seconds ago _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ Right.... Stupid parents and schedules and shiz. _ **

**_ Sent Now _ **  
**_ Seen 32 seconds ago _ **

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

**_ Are we still not cursing? You sad sad man-child _ **

**_ Sent Now _ **  
**_ Seen 1 Minute ago _ **

You sighed, shaking your head as you set your phone down on the bench. You've never seen the boy that called himself "xHeroBoyx" nor has he seen you. Both of you had been talking for more than three years and you had yet to see each other face to face. He had chosen your nickname to slightly match his with the x-x thing, saying that you were always salty and gave you the nickname "Salt King". Neither of you even knew each others name- just user. There was an inside joke with yours so that whenever you had a shitty day, you'd tell him by saying 'it's been a name day' and he'd instantly get it. Everyone else never understood and you never explained.

Turning the song back on, you began dancing again, trying to fix the parts you messed up, pausing the song and going back a few times to get it right, re-teaching yourself the moves. A few times, you had fallen on your ass and possibly bruised your tailbone by doing so.

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

**_ Are we still not cursing? You sad sad man-child _ **

**_ Sent Now _ **  
**_ Seen 57 Minutes ago _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ I can curse when I want to!!! _ **

**_ Sent 52 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ XHeroBoyx _ **

**_ I just choose to not do so and stay innocent. _ **

**_ Sent 53 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ You need to send another video of your dancing, it's amazing  
and I wanna see more. _ **

**_ Sent 42 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ You don't have to show your face, though.  
I know how anxious you are about that. _ **

**_ Sent 42 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

****__I don't have a good one right now.  
You're not anywhere near innocent  
So, just curse, dude.  
You should also send another video of  
you singing or something, and like you  
said, you don't have to show your face.

**_ Sent 4 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ No and I'll send one soon. _ **

**_ Sent 16 minutes ago  
Seen 16 minutes ago _ **

You laughed and shut off your phone, putting it away as you packed up your stuff, ready to leave the dance studio. You had been there for over four hours, dancing and just singing to the song.

Opening the door, and running into someone else, you quickly apologized, slipping into Spanish as you did.

"Lo siento, lo siento," you muttered, "No estaba mirando hacia dónde iba."

Raising your head, you met the green eyes of Adrien, whom smiled and laugh, shrugging. "Sorry 'bout that, but I have no idea what you said."

Quickly translating what you said sheepishly, "Oh, um, I just was apologizing. 'I wasn't watching where I was going...' I didn't mean to run into you..."

He waved it off, opening the door wider and stepping out of your way. "It's alright, do you need a ride home or something?" He went to close the door after you walked out, turning to face you.

Staring ahead of you, you replied, "I-I'm good. I'll walk, but thanks." In all honesty, you didn't want to walk, but didn't want to hang out with Adrien; you didn't need to get close to anyone.

Studio Harmonic was about an hour away from home by foot. It would only take twenty minutes by car.

 _"Take the offer."_  Foxxie hissed from your hood.

Adrien closed the door and moved to stand beside you. You were facing the road and not him, staring at the ground. "You sure? I mean, it's no big deal."

You shook your head again. "No, Adrien. I don't want to pull you away from doing whatever you need to do here." You wanted to leave and just walk away, this felt so uncomfortable.

"It's not that important," he replied, moving again so he was in your line of sight. "I'd rather make sure you get home safely and, I kinda wanna hang out for a bit, even just ten or twenty minutes."

Ironic that that was the exact same time it would take by car to get home.

Sneering, mostly for show, you growled, "Would it shut you up and stop asking?"

Adrien nodded enthusiastically and cheered when you said yes, rolling your eyes. He called up his chauffeur and in mere minutes you were on your way home (after grumpily telling him the address). It was silent for the first three minutes before Adrien finally spoke up, catching on that you wouldn't speak unless spoken to.

"So, are you doing well in class?" He asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

Pulling out your phone, you shrugged. "Well, I had a panic attack, fell asleep and hardly listen but I have A's right now. I've been here for three days, dude."

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

****__ Lighten up, bucko. I can tell over the  
distance you're not doing good.  
I promise it'll get better and if you   
****__ ever need me, just text me. I promise  
I'll be there for you. :)

**_ Sent 26 minutes ago  
Seen Now _ **

A smile broke on your face after reading the text, your cheek burning a bright red. Adrien's eyes scanned your face, confused but the smile you wore was contagious, and holy hell was it beautiful. Adrien wanted to see it on you more, it fit you.

"You should smile more," he commented.

Practically dropping your phone, you rubbed the back of your neck, forgetting about Adrien in that moment. "I-I uh, um, what?" Not exactly understand his statement, your brow furrowed in confusion, but the smile barely faltered.

He motioned to your phone. "Whatever you saw made you smile and... well, it fits you, you should smile more." He looked away. "You always seem to be upset about something and have a straight face."

Now you weren't smiling anymore, the text practically forgotten. "I don't need to smile, it was... it was just something I found nice. It probably wont happen again."

Silence fell between you two for the rest of the ride and you replied to the message.

**_ xSaltKingx _ **

**_ Thanks...I needed that... _ **

**_ Sent 23 seconds ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

****__ Don't worry about it! I just  
think you should be happy and   
not your solemn self all the time.

**_ Sent 15 seconds ago  
Seen Now _ **

**_ xHeroBoyx _ **

**_ You deserve happiness. _ **

**_ Sent Now _ **  
**_ Seen Now _ **

You pursed your lips and put your phone away. You deserved happiness? That was one of the biggest lies you were always told. You didn't deserve it or did you even get it. Happiness was not something you were easily able to come by, it was a luxury for you. Even smiling was a luxury for you.

Once the car stopped in front of the apartments, you got out and thanked Adrien, watching as the car sped off. You were left under the street lamp, which was almost the only light source you had around you.

Taking a deep breath, you made your way inside, ignoring your parents and brothers that sat on the couch watching a movie and made your way up to your room, practically throwing your bag across the room. Foxxie knew to leave you alone, flying towards their bed and sitting on it, munching on a piece of chocolate.

"Remember, Y/n, Hawkmoth won't hesitate to Akumatize you if you get too worked up." They reminded you.

Nodding and running a hand through your hair, taking a shaky sigh, you headed out to your balcony, leaning on the railing and overlooking the street. Well you just put yourself into a shitty mood. And that shitty mood was spiraling further down despite how much you wanted it to stop. You were supposed to go on patrol today too, but that obviously didn't happen.

Adrien, he seemed really nice and caring, someone who would hesitate to help anyone in need no matter how much pain it would cause him if he did. He was friends with Marinette (who had the biggest crush on him), Alya, and Nino (the two were crushing on each other from what you could tell) and the girl, what was her name... blonde, bitchy, Chloe. She seemed obsessed with Adrien and would bully anyone because she's "they mayors daughter". It was honestly annoying but, going back to Adrien himself; he was someone who anyone could trust with anything and he wouldn't betray it.

Even so, you couldn't trust him or anyone, not after what happened. It wasn't something you wanted to relive, now or ever. Your best bet would be to just ignore and force people away. You didn't need help. You could figure this out on your own. Yeah, yeah you could. This was, this was just something you could do alone.

You tried convincing yourself, tears beginning to run down your cheeks, blurring your eyesight.

"You can do this alone, you don't need anyone," you muttered to yourself, sitting on one of the chairs outside and resting your head on your arms on the railing. "You don't need anyone but yourself and Foxxie..."

**_ ~~~ _ **

**_ Next chapter's depressing, beware. _ **


	4. Chapter 4

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION, THERE ARE VERY DARK SCENES. TRIGGER WARNING NOW: READ WITH CAUTION.

 __ **Eighth Grade**  
Y/n's age: 13  
Relationship Status: Gay and taken  
Happiness Level: higher than normal  
In Love: Yes  
Been together for: eleven months  
Day: Tuesday, February 14  
Holiday: Valentines day  
Significant Other: Ethan  
S/O Age: 14  
Flashback: begins

Valentine's day was never a day you really liked because of the fact you were always alone but this year, it was probably the best one yet. You actually got to spend it with someone this year! Excitedly, you grabbed your bag, which was full of stuff you bought for him and ran to the classroom to check in with the teacher. They allowed you to leave for a bit, but you were to be back five minutes after the bell rang if what you had to do took longer than the five minutes you had till the bell. Thanking them, you ran out of the room and into the courtyard to search for Ethan.

The boy with the stormy gray eyes and vibrant dyed black dripping into blue hair. His hair was fluffy and medium length, and really fluffy, did you already say that? Oh, well, it was fluffy. It never really straightened out but you loved the soft feel of his hair.

Pulling your phone out, you stopped running around and texted him.

**_ SoulMatexo _ **

**_ love you _ **

**_ Sent yesterday _ **

**_ Y/n _ **

**_ Hey, babe, where are you at? _ **

**_ Sent now _ **

Usually, he was quick with responding but now he wasn't responding. Even as five minutes passed and you had begun walking around, he still didn't reply.

"Maybe he's working on something," you thought out loud.

Ethan was someone who liked to work on a lot of projects and get stuff done. Maybe he was working on a project? I mean, you guys did have one due by the end of the week for class.

Passing growing crowds of people, they began whispering, pointing at you and laughing. Your nervousness grew as they began to form a circle around you, trapping you in the middle. Even as you tried to push through, they pushed you back onto your ass. Your bag was partially crushed, but now you could care less about it.

Slowly, they began chanting 'loser' at you, laughing as your anxiety became more than you could handle. This wasn't something that just came out of the blue, it was planned. You could feel Foxxie in your shirt shaking, clinging to your collarbone tightly. Luckily they were covered and no one could see them.

You were hyperventilating, unable to breathe correctly. They all seemed to be closing in on you, laughing and chanting and pointing. You couldn't hide or have anywhere to go or anyone to help you; or, at least you thought.

A soft hand dropped on your shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze and catching your attention. Your head shot up to look up at the person and practically dove into his arms, hugging him tightly. The bag was forgotten as you buried your face in his chest but, he didn't move. His hands lied against his sides and he made no move to comfort you.

"Ethan...?" You looked up at him, tears staining your cheeks and eyes red.

His face was unreadable, blank and showed no sign of sympathy or love. It honestly scared you. The chanting had lowered to whispering to each other. You barely noticed the girl that walked up to the two of you until after the grabbed the back of your shirt and threw you off Ethan, who just wrapped an arm around her shoulder, a sinister smirk painting his lips. You had no words as the girl spoke, sneering at you.

"Ugh, why don't you find your own boyfriend  _faggot._ " She kissed Ethan deeply and the only response she got from him was pulling her closer. "This one's mine and you wanna know something, fuckup? We've been together for ten months."

Just one month off of you and Ethan. He's been cheating on you this whole time... You trusted him... He... He actually did that.

You stared at the boy in shock, waiting for him to say this was a joke, to reassure you that this wasn't true, but he said nothing as he held her close. The crowd began laughing as you shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks again.

"If anything," Ethan finally spoke up, "I never loved you, it was all just an act." He let the girl go and stepped closer to you. "The popular kid saves the depressed, bullied gay boy and puts on a loving act to make them feel happy. It's all just for the attention. I made you happy, I broke your walls, I got into your heart and smashed it." He snapped his fingers in front of your face, startling you. "Just like that. Although it did take almost a year, it was done and now, I'm just humiliating you." He laughed and pushed your chest, causing you to lose balance and fall onto your bag, crushing the contents more. "So, why don't you take your little emo fucked up ass home and kill yourself?"

You wasted almost no time in scrambling up and grabbing your bag and running home. You could barely see, your eyesight blurry and tear filled. You were stumbling with every step. Your parents and brothers weren't home, leaving the house dead silent and all to yourself.

Your bag was thrown across your room as you fell to the floor beside your bed, burying your face in your arms, body shaking with sobs. Foxxie had flown out and landed on your arm, hugging it the best they could with tiny arms. Instead of finding it comforting, it was annoying. You picked them up and, delicately (despite your own state), threw them onto the bed, getting up and grabbing the [pocket knife](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f2/1e/40/f21e40891192e5427f7e8a8c8d7abc0b--beautiful-knives-a-beautiful.jpg) from your dresser, not giving a second thought as you began tracing the blade over your arm harshly, making long lines down it, recklessly cutting the skin.

Foxxie was practically screaming, shouting and trying to get you to stop, flying over to your phone once they realized you weren't stopping, unlocking it and calling 911. They said nothing and allowed the person on the other side to hear your sobbing. The person started talking to someone else, tracing the call to your location, sending police, an ambulance and fire fighters to your place. By now, both your arms were bloody messes and you were losing so much blood. You fell to the floor, unconscious as the police bust your door open, grabbing you and bringing you out to the ambulance. They were just barely able to save you.

Now lying in a hospital bed, both arms wrapped and tied down to the bed, you stared at the ceiling, face void of any emotions. With a short sigh and closing your eyes, you vowed to close your heart and not even allow anyone to get in. You wouldn't even let them become your friend. You didn't need the pain anymore- you didn't need them, you didn't need anyone.

If anything, you'd be better off dead.

 

You jolted awake by a hand stroking between your shoulder blades. The person rubbing your back halted their actions, pulling their hand back, noticing you had woken up. Tears were staining your cheeks and arms where you were lying. Lifting your head slowly, you moved to face Chat Noir, who stood beside you, concern lacing his expression. Shakily, you stood from your spot, not bothering to push Chat away when he helped you, supporting you as you made your way inside.

For a minute he was silent, letting you sit on the bed and sitting next to you, but giving space. "...I doubt you want to talk about it but, do you want a hug?"

You wanted to say yes, you wanted someone to listen to you rant and tell them everything, to cry on their shoulder, but you pushed the urge away, shaking your head no. Chat hummed softly but didn't listen to you, wrapping his arms around you, despite you not responding and making it slightly awkward.

"Whatever you were dreaming caused you to start crying and shifting around... I came over to see how you were and I'm honestly glad I did." He rubbed your arm, finally pulling away.

"I'm not," you retorted, "I don't need your sympathy." Not even bothering to look up at him you said, "So why don't you do us both a favor and leave?"

When you did look up at him, the hurt look he had was something you never wanted to see on anyone. It reminded you of yourself when Ethan... It just reminded you of that. Looking away, you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from crying again.

Chat stood from your bed and headed to your balcony, stopping just before leaping off. "Sorry for trying to help you," he muttered loud enough for you to hear and left.

Now you started crying, falling into your pillow to cry.

_"A poor, poor child just wanting someone to love him. Broken Heart, get me Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous' and you will have all the power to break everyone like you had been."_


	5. Chapter 5

Your transformation was simple and the clothes you wore weren't flashy but vibrant enough to show who you were. Your shirt was a baggy, almost crop top, black shirt with a broken red heart dripping blood. Your pants were hip-hop sweatpants, also black and from the waist dripping down was also blood. The shoes were a bright red with black, broken hearts on them. Your weapon just happened to be the guns you used as a miraculous holder, but the holster was draped around your waist. Your black hair changed, the ends turning bright red. Many bracelets hung on your wrist (guess the colors) and your choker shimmered a glittery red. A red mask covered around your eyes, under your right eye was a black and broken heart.

Seems like whoever gave you the outfit must like red.  _ **(TAKE A GUESS WHO)**_

Foxxie had disappeared during your transformation, you didn't know where but you ignored it, sprinting towards your balcony and jumping out and onto the street, shooting couples, who then turned on each other, spouting the worst things imagined at each other, pushing and shoving, breaking into fights.

You laughed as you leaped onto a building and began running, continuing to shoot people. It was only a matter of time before Ladybug and  _Chat Noir_ got there, you just had to be patient. And patient you were; standing below the Eiffel Tower, arms crossed, watching so many people fight in the "City of Love". Ha. So much for that name.

"Stop right there!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir were behind you. With a smirk, you raised your hands in surrender, still holding the guns.

"Well isn't it the perfect heroes. People say you two are a couple, is it true?" You laughed and before they could respond, aiming at them. "We'll just have to see for ourselves, won't we?"

They jumped out of the way before you could hit them, but with the twin pistols, you continued shooting at the two, moving back and avoiding any attacks they made at you, at one point jumping onto Chat's back and pushing him down. Sadly, the awesome move was miscalculated and Ladybug's yo-yo wrapped around your leg, pulling you down.

"Y/n, you need to fight against him!" Chat shouted, recovering from the hit.

Ladybug stared at him in bewilderment. "You know him?"

Chat nodded. "Yeah, I've hung out with him a few times. And I would never forget an amazing voice."

You practically laughed, aiming for them again. "Fight against him? This is the best I've felt in so fucking long. Everyone who's so happy in a fucking relationship is now fighting each other for no reason! It's the best thing ever! Love is a shit thing that needs to die!" At the end, you growled and shot at them, as fast as your trigger finger could go. You didn't even have to reload; it was great!

Ladybug's yo-yo smacked one gun out of your hand as you aimed for Chat who was getting closer than you thought. Sheathing the one you had, you dove for the other and rolled out of Ladybug's way, running down the street. You heard them run after you; it caused you to laugh loudly and spin around quickly, taking the guns out of their holsters and taking a shot.

You missed them as they both jumped out of the way at the last minute, causing you to curse and turn to run as fast as you could, taking a sharp U-turn and jumping up on a roof, blowing a raspberry in their direction before laughing a running away again.

"Did he seriously just do that?" Chat asked.

"Seems like it," Ladybug responded.

"Stop being a coward and fight us, Heart Breaker!!" Chat shouted, standing beside Ladybug on a roof.

You sat on one a few houses away, playing with your gun like a child, aiming it at the two, again. "Make me," you replied, taking a shot.

The bullet just barely grazed Chat's cheek, enough to leave a small burn there. He cursed and held his cheek, glaring at the boy. Ladybug shook her head and threw her yo-yo up, doing the whole "LUcky Charm" thing. Coming down was a large red with black polka dots shield, large enough to stand up to Ladybug's collarbones. She could barely hold it up and stared at it in confusion.

You waited patiently as both heroes figured out what the shield was for, shaking your head, your hair softly smacking your cheeks. It amused you. The hair, not the heroes.

Once they stopped talking, you stood up, watching as Chat ran towards you, holding the shield. You didn't shoot at him, realizing the bullets would just ricochet off the shield and instead turned to shoot Ladybug, who tried to stay back but continued moving closer to distract you.

Chat (somehow) clipped the shield to his back and dove for your guns, catching you off guard. Okay, first of all, how did you not see him coming after watCHING HIM RUN AFTER YOU? Second of all, you're a fucking idiot. He collided with your chest, bringing you both down and off the roof.

Huh. Wasn't this some deja vu?

This time you landing on him and instantly, your hands grabbed his wrists, holding them above his head as you played with his ring.

_"You have him in your clutches, GRAB HIS MIRACULOUS!"_

You began pulling it off as Chat struggled, calling for Ladybug. With a sigh, you let his wrists go and just sat on him, crossing your arms, pouting. "This is too easy, Noir. What the hell?" You stood up off him and held out your hand.

He hesitantly took it, confused and regretting it the second you pulled him up. You had pulled him into a headlock, threatening to choke him as Ladybug got closer. The shield had fallen off his back when you both fell, as well as both your guns, so you were weaponless and holding Chat hostage. With no weapon.

"Let him go," Ladybug warned, swinging her yo-yo in circles. In her other hand was the shield, holding it up and half in front of her body.

"Or what," you laughed.

Chat's hands gripped your arm, pulling at it. Staring at Ladybug with eyes pleading for help.

"Or, Chat will grab your pendant," she smirked.

Wait.

What.

Before you could register it, Chat's hand shot back and onto your neck, pulling the fox pendant off and throwing it towards Ladybug.

"No! You fucker!" You slammed CHat to the ground and ran towards Ladybug, trying to grab the pendant before she broke it, but you were too late.

She did her whole "Miraculous Ladybug!" thing and you dropped to your knees, suddenly drained. The pendant reappeared on your choker, you clothing returning to the ones you wore before, leaving you confused in the middle of the street.

"Take it easy," Chat muttered, helping you stand.

You held your head and onto him, closing your eyes in pain. "What the hell...?"

"You were akumatized," Ladybug explained, hooking her yo-yo around her waist, shifting her weight onto one foot. "You alright?"

Nodding, you waved it off, steadying yourself with the help of Chat. He kept a tight grip around your waist, holding you up.

"Go ahead and take him home, Chat," she sighed, turning to run off, her earrings beeping.

You groaned and pressed your palm to your forehead, an obvious headache rising. Chat, taking notice, picked you up and began walking to your house, keeping a steady pace as you just kinda lied there in his arms, bridal style, and in silence.

Apparently, silence is too much for Chat. "Lupus didn't show up today," he growled.

Becoming nervous, for obvious reasons, you glanced up at him. "You guys did well on your own though," you responded, in a quiet voice.

Seeing Chat quite angry was scaring you, a little. Just a little, whole-body-shaking-violently, bit.

"He's a Miraculous holder and a new one. If he wants to team up with us, he has to learn to show up and work with us. He didn't even show up for patrol last night." His voice raised a bit and you shrunk in his arms, catching his attention. It changed from fury to sympathy. "I-I didn't mean to scare you, sorry... I just don't really like Lupus all that much."

He had changed his hold on you, not that you minded, so now your legs were around his waist and your arms were around his neck, holding onto him as he made his way up to your balcony, setting you down. After knowing you were safe, he turned to leave but stopped as a tugging sensation on his arm pulled him back. He glanced over his shoulder at you; you were looking down, scared, one arm outstretched to grab his and the other covering your mouth as you bit your lip.

"Want me to stay?" Chat asked in a soft voice. It wasn't his usual flirty/cocky tone, but genuinely concerned and serious.

You said nothing as you nodded, let his arm go and opened the sliding door, going and looking behind to for him to follow. Chat didn't hesitate to enter and close your door, sitting beside you on the bed, right where he was when you yelled at him just hours before.

You sat in silence for a few moments, finally speaking up after what felt like forever in awkwardness. "I-I'm sorry about... about what happened earlier..." You muttered, ashamed.

Chat shook his head, but you weren't looking to see it. "Honestly, Y/n, it's alright. I understand that I may have triggered something you didn't want to remember or anything, and I'm the one who should be sorry, I kinda over-stepped your comfort level."

With a short laugh, you looked up at him and smiled softly.

What are you getting yourself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYWAYS I'M MESSING UP HORRIBLE BECAUSE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET CLOSE TO ANYONE YET OR ANYTHING SO THE FRIENDSHIP (SPOILERS) BETWEEN YOU AND CHAT ISN'T GONNA LAST FOR LONG. JUST A WARNING.


	6. Chapter 6

"Why don't you like Lupus, exactly?"

Chat groaned, "This is the fourth time you asked!" He complained.

You huffed, "Because you aren't giving me a straight answer!" Not like you could give a straight answer either, it might be curved instead.

"Fine!" He lied back on your bed, checking his ring. Two more paws. He had time. "He's cocky and annoying. He can make Ladybug laugh when I can't and he mocks me. I hate him. He made fun of me and, he's just really annoying."

Raising an eyebrow, you snorted. "So you don't exactly have a reason?" It was seriously just a simple question, and funny his explanation wasn't even something to hate someone about.

Chat grumbled a 'no' and stared at the ceiling. "He's just stealing Ladybug."

"So, you're... you're just afraid of losing... you're afraid of losing your partner."

Geez. That was hard to say and all it was was just one sentence.

You knew the feeling. Back in America, you had a partner, but this type of losing was different from yours. Chat was afraid of losing them to someone else, he loved Ladybug and it would break his heart if she chose someone else over him. He was afraid of being the second choice and being left behind. It was far off of what your type of losing was.

Your partner was also your best friend. You knew each other behind the masks (by accident of course) and, even though neither of you felt romantic feelings for each other, you stayed together and were hardly separated. You'd have to kill one or the other to separate you both. You were both attached to the hip and (this was all honestly before Ethan) you never tried to leave the other's eyesight.

You two were seen as one. Some people may have called you soulmates. They called Lupus and Kettu soulmates as well. Both were complete flirts and loved to tease each other, pick on each other and everything. There were even times you guys did try to be together, but it never exactly worked out, you both tried too hard so it ended and the two of you stayed as friends. Even considered each other siblings or anything closer than that. You couldn't even begin to describe how much they meant to you.

"Y/n?" Chat called, rubbing your back.

You must've zoned out again.

Raising your head, you flinched away when he raised his hands to wipe your cheeks, causing him to freeze in place.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," he muttered, slowly moving closer and cupping your cheeks, wiping the tears that had fallen.

How many times have you cried in front of him now? Apologizing, you rubbed your eyes and forced yourself to yawn. Chat glanced at his ring, now beeping and down to one paw. He stood and you both bid goodbye, watching as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop, getting smaller and smaller as he got further away.

You didn't notice Foxxie beside you until they tapped your arm, resulting in you freaking out and falling to your side in fear, holding up your arms to your face in defense. You calmed down when you realized who it was, sighing and moving to just lay down on the bed. Foxxie flew over and lied on your collarbone.

"I'm... I'm sorry about that Foxxie."

They shifted and grasped your shirt tightly. "The Akuma wasn't your fault, and right now - that's just a reflex, I get it. It happens to everyone."

You nodded and said nothing else as you crossed your legs and closed your eyes, praying for a peaceful rest, hopefully. You hated nightmares and all of that; especially flashbacks. Most flashbacks were bad and never reminded you of the good that happened.

Then again, when were your prayers ever answered?

This wasn't a normal akumatized villain - they weren't even akumatized. It was a group of at least twenty or more (with guns, I may add) shooting up the town and killing so many people. The police weren't even good at helping. You sported a few wounds, nothing very major. Kettu was sporting a bullet wound in their left shoulder, a few cuts here and there like you, nothing very major either - they were still able to use their arm without it hurting that much, to a certain extent.

The leader was hiding among his comrades, in the middle of everything and avoiding the police and you two. Half the police force was dead, you and Kettu were both wearing down and your miraculous' were almost gone. You barely had seven minutes left and they showed no signs of stopping anytime soon unless it was to reload.

"Kettu, fall back!!" You shouted, searching for your partner.

You could barely see them as they fought back three other brutes so much larger than them.

"KETTU!" You shouted, running towards them, leaping over many men to get to them.

Time slowed as you watch a pistol being drawn from its holster, the owner right in front of your partner, who wasn't paying attention to him. You weren't gonna make it in time to get the gun out of his hand. You pulled your own gun from its holster and aimed it, shooting just a millisecond after he did. Your bullet hit his hand while his went through Kettu's midsection. They stopped fighting in shock, and in pain, allowing the person they were fighting to stab them in the stomach as well. You screamed and shot that person, time speeding up as you ran over and grabbed Kettu, holding them tightly as you ran off to an alley out of sight, falling to the ground with them in your lap.

Your tears weren't stopping anytime soon. The amount flowing down your cheeks could rival a highway of a busy city. Both your miraculous' beeped multiple times, signaling your time was almost up, but neither of you acknowledged it. They detransformed first, their ginger hair clung to their face with sweat, vibrant gray eyes now dull and almost lifeless. Their shirt, which was originally a light blue, was stained a dark purple, their arms stained red from holding the wound. Your suit was gone next, leaving you in hip-hop sweats stained red and a sweatshirt with a panda on it, also stained, but much less than your pants.

"Cam," you sobbed, "Cameron, please." Pleading wouldn't help them, nothing would help them. By the amount of blood they were losing, and at the rate they were losing it, the bullet had gone through the aorta. Their death would come at any minute.

Weakly, they raised a bloody hand and grazed your cheek, leaving a trail of blood down it and along your chin. "Don't... Don't give... U-up, Y/n..." Their last breath left with your name on their lips. Their eyes rolled back and their hand dropped back down to their stomach, head lolling back. They lied limp in your arms, no sign of life in their body, no sign of them moving anytime soon.

A scream wrecked through your throat as you sobbed over them, body shaking violently as you prayed for this to be a dream and they would come back.

_But when were your prayers ever answered?_

It took a few moments but you calmed down enough to take their Miraculous, a fox tail where the white part at the end of it lit up into five segments when in use, off and put on yourself, shifting their body to lie on the cold concrete. Slowly, and with very shaky hands, you took some food out for Trickster and gave some chocolate to Foxxie, staring blankly at the ground.

"Y/n, using us both at the same time might dam-"

"I don't give a fuck," you interrupted Foxxie, growling. "I want those people dead."

Trickster tried to add-on, "But, then-"

"I don't care!" You stood quickly, shouting, scaring the two small kwami.

They said nothing else as they finished their food, flying up to your shoulders. Nodding at each other, they waited for you.

And with one last shuddering glance down at Cameron's body, you traced a finger over both miraculous' and shouted, "Foxxie, start the hunt! Trickster, bring out your claws!"

You woke up panting and drenched in sweat. Your hand shot up to your neck, uncovering and gripping the fox tail tightly. Trickster was long gone with Cameron but you would never get rid of it. Your face was cold, tears still threatening to fall. Turning to look at the time, you sighed when it only read 3:49, giving you enough time to get ready and leave the house earlier than usual. It was Saturday, so that gave you all day to run around the town and just look around.

Throwing on some clothes, after a nice shower (although "nice" was an overstatement. You kept having memory flashes), you carefully put Foxxie in your hood and headed out via your balcony.

Today would hopefully be nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WANNA DO A Q+A IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK QUESTIONS. I'LL ANSWER THEM IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> Alright, confused about the fox miraculous? I bet. So, here's a brief explanation. America had their own set of Miraculous', other things. I didn't think that through much BUT PARIS AND AMERICA (WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM) HAVE A SET OF THEIR OWN MIRACULOUS'. They just happen to have the same Fox one. No, this does not mean you will become Kettu. Trickster is gone.


	7. Chapter 7

The streets were quiet, the occasional car rolling by, and you were glad no one else was really awake. The dark sky sparkled with tiny lights, the stars twinkling under the blanket of bleak, darkness. Cameron loved the night. They always loved the cool air when it got darker in the autumn, the soft wind that blew through their hair, the beauty they saw in the night. They would smile, brushing their hair back with their eyes closed just listening to the wind and feeling content. You could never achieve that amount of calm and contentedness. Their laugh was warm like the breeze, smile beautiful like the flowers, eyes sparkling like the stars. You could never get enough of them. Cameron was the only person that loved you and understood you.

You shoved your hands in your pockets and shivered, dropping your gaze to your feet. You weren't one to care about yourself - your health, your physical state, etc - and it never really crossed your mind about how unhealthy you were. You barely weighed 100 pounds - still too much for your liking -, you could see your ribs and collarbones - if anyone wanted to break your arm or something, they barely have to put much pressure to do so -, and even as Lupus and with your enhanced everything - especially strength - you could still be hurt easily. Ever since Cameron died, and Trickster followed not long after, you barely ate, slept, smiled, did anything positive anymore. It was bad and Foxxie still tried to help you even though they were slowly dying as well.

Kicking a rock with the tip of your shoe, you stopped walking and sighed, looking up at the rising sun. By the looks of it, it was close to six am; you've been walking for three hours, and now you were technically lost. Great. With a shaky breath, you walked over to an alley and climbed up the fire escape, sitting on the roof with your legs dangling off the edge. You already knew it was a shitty idea, you could easily fall off and break something or die. Even Foxxie, who hid in your hood, seemed a bit on edge ( **I think I'm funny but I'm not** ) with how close you were.

"Shouldn't you back away a bit?" They asked, poking their head up from inside the fabric.

You shrugged, swinging your legs and leaning forward a bit. "If I fall, oh well."

Hands were barely gripping the edge of the roof as you leaned forward, trying to see everything below you, which just happened to be a few people walking around. Not realizing you weren't balanced, one hand slipped from the edge, losing your grip as you fell down the tree story apartment, eyes wide as you watched, almost in slow motion, the roof get further away and fell the ground rush closer. Your body rotated in the air, your stomach now exposed to the ground. Out of reflex, your hands extended and your knees curled in, smacking against the ground with a sickening crack. Both your arms buckled, scratching the side of your face against the concrete. Falling to your side, your face contorted into one of pain, curling up as much as you could. One leg had the ability to move and everything, the other flaring in pain and motionless. You could barely move both of your arms, giving you the impression that they were both broken along with your leg. Unable to sit up, you lied there, biting your lip to keep from crying out despite how much you were in pain.

Foxxie had flown down after you fell and called your name a few times, paws on your cheeks. You ignored him, the pain unbearable. In all of your life, even when your parents had hit you before, you've never hurt this bad. When you tried to kill yourself, you practically blacked out right after so the pain didn't register in your mind; there was no blood this time, no cuts, barely any scratches, just broken bones that hurt worse when the limb was moved.

"Is that...? Oh, shit, that's Y/n!"

The words registered in your mind slower than Foxxie could hide, the voice barely recognizable. Chat? What would he be doing here at this time?

A few voices overlapped each other around you, a pair of hands gripping your sides and pulling you so you lied on your back. A scream of pain ripped through your throat as you arm was moved a bit harshly, startling those around you.

"Sorry, sorry!"  _Chat sounded so much like Adrien...._ "What can you move, considering you probably fell from the roof or got into a fight and something was broken...?"

You raised your uninjured arm, wiggling your fingers. Your eyes flickered up and locked with green orbs, but not full ones like Chats.  _So it's Adrien and not Chat..._ You thought. He pointed to your legs, to which you shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. Through the blur, you could just barely make out Alya, Nino and Marinette crouching beside you. Adrien's arms hooked under your back and knees, evoking a whine from you. 

Adrien took a breath, tensing up as he moved to be able to stand. "I'm gonna pick you up, okay? I'm sorry in advance if it hurts really bad."

You nodded and wrapped your fine arm around his neck. Marinette carefully placed your other arm over your stomach, she stayed in place as Adrien carefully stood, your weight now being distributed to his arms and weighing your legs down, bringing some slight pain to them. You bit your lip, closing your eyes tightly and burying your face in his chest.

"How close is the nearest hospital?" Adrien asked, directed towards one of the others.

Nino's voice was heard next, replying, "2.7 miles away, Hospital Européen Georges-Pompidou. Almost an hours walk."

Adrien softly cursed, soft enough for you to hear. "Will you be alright for an hour?" His green eyes gazed down upon you in concern. 

You nodded, using his shoulders as support as you shifted a bit in his arms, of course with his help. "I-I think I'll be okay till then." You felt so pathetic.

Adrien replied silently with his own nod and began walking with Nino beside him and the girls behind him. It was a bit awkward, no one really knowing what to say, especially yourself as you were carried by Adrien.

_**~1 hour of Walking To The Hospital In Silence Later~ (Anyone read that with the Spongebob narrator voice?)** _

You had broken both legs and your arm. That was just great. Amazing. You had to spend at least a night in the hospital before returning home in a wheelchair and then you had to go to school in one. Perfect. You were pretty much already the laughing stock of the school because of your panic attack and Chloe's main target to bully.

Couldn't you just die instead? That sounded more fun than having to suffer.

Your legs were set, cast and practically dead. Your arm was the same. They fixed up your face, kinda, treating the scratches and had put you in shorts and a t-shirt. It bothered you how exposed you felt, more so since you had plenty of scars showing. The doctors had said nothing but had called in a therapist to talk to you about them.

Even worse, Adrien was there and refused to leave until you were allowed to.

For the seventh time, you rolled your eyes and looked at the opposite wall. The therapist sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up. "Y/n, if you don't co-operate, we're not gonna fix anything."

You retorted, "Fuck off. I don't need to be fixed."

"Your scars say differently," he said.

"I said, fuck off. They're scars. They're the past. Stop reminding me."

Adrien sat in silence, studying your face, noting that you looked more upset and sad than you did angry. He flinched when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Nathalie wondering where he was at. He replied with a short 'I'm staying at the hospital with a friend,' and turned off his phone. His gaze lifted to you again, frowning when he saw you still weren't co-operating. Of course, he wasn't going to butt in mostly because he didn't want to upset you more; instead, he stood and strode over to your bed. "I think it's best if you stop," he cautioned in a soft voice, "he doesn't wish to speak about it."

The therapist sighed but complied and stood, bidding the two good night and shutting the door.

"If you think I'm going to tell you anything just because you got him to leave, you're wrong."

You still stared at the opposing wall, playing with the sheet that was pulled up to your chest. Adrien's eyes wandered your upper body, his face contorting into one of sympathy.

He sat on the chair, reaching over to thread his fingers through your hair. You flinched a bit violently but relaxed. "I won't pry. If you want to tell me, you can. If you don't that's fine and I won't say anything. You just looked really upset and uncomfortable, I was just trying to help."

You grumbled, "I could've told him off myself."

"With cursing and ignoring him?" Adrien replied with a short laugh. "He seemed pretty persistent when you kept doing that."

"Shut up," you groaned, turning back around to lie flat on your back, consequently making Adrien move his hand. You gave him a slight glare. "The word 'stop' was never said." You sassed.

The smile that tugged at Adrien's lips was large and amusing, his hand moving back to your hair to play with it. "I would have never thought of you as someone who enjoyed having their hair played with."

"Shut up."


	8. Chapter 8

You were allowed out of the hospital the next day, Adrien never leaving your side. The minute your parents learned about everything, you were kicked out till your bones healed since no one wished to help you up and down the stairs each and every day. Adrien took the problem in his hands and made sure you were able to stay with him until they healed, not exactly questioning your relationship with your family, although he really wanted to.

Resting on Adrien's bed (he wouldn't allow you to say no) as he was out doing his photo shoots, you scrolled through your phone and every app, occasionally messaging xHeroBoyx here and there. He was slower to respond than normal (then again you haven't been saying anything for a few days, so it's only fair).

**_xHeroBoyx_ **

**_How are your legs? And arm._ **   
****_You're a fucking idiot for sitting  
on the edge of a fucking roof.  
What the fuck were you thinking Y/n?!_

**_Sent 58 seconds ago  
Seen Now_ **

**_xSaltKingx_ **

****_They're fine. Sore. And I_  
was just admiring the sunrise.  
Nothing really dangerous. I   
wasn't gonna jump off purposely

**_Sent 3 minutes ago_ **   
  


Although it did slip through your mind a few times. If you had just ended it by falling. Although it did show that the fall wasn't kill-able. The Eiffel Tower, though, was death row. Maybe you should try there next. After all, why should anyone care? You had no idea who xHeroBoyx was, they've never met you, you've never met them, there should be no personal attraction or anything, really. He... wasn't even a friend to you, just someone to talk to... you guessed. You never really bothered to try and think about what xHeroBoyx was to you.

**_xHeroBoyx_ **

**_But it crossed your mind, didn't it?  
I [kinda] know you, Y/n. There's_ **   
****_a feeling I have that it did come up  
as a thought._

**_Sent 5 minutes ago_ **   
**_Seen 5 minutes ago_ **

Spot on, wasn't he? You sighed and turned off your phone, draping your arm over your eyes. Great. Just another person to know you were lowkey suicidal. You already, possibly, had Adrien on your heels and now him? Perfect.

"So this is where you've been staying, Mon chéri."

Unimpressed, your eyes gazed at Chat, who was crouching on the windowsill, staring at you. His green eyes scanned over you, confusion and fear replacing his warm, welcoming features. In an instant, he was beside you, claws barely brushing against your casts.

"Y/n, what did you do?" His question was laced with sincere worry. You bit your lip and turned away as you replied nonchalantly. "I fell off a roof." You shrugged.

His jaw slacked as he stared at you with disbelief. "Y-you did what?!" He pounced on the bed and ran his hands up your arms and stomach, seemingly checking for other wounds he couldn't see. "Why would you do something so reckless!?"

You could only use one hand to try and push him away, growling. "Stop!" You shouted, pulling your shirt back down. "What the fuck, Chat?" 

Chat didn't seem as affected by it, resting one hand on your shoulder and the other on your uninjured hand. "I was checking for any other wounds, you did fall from a building so your legs and arm aren't the only things that got hurt - like here," he leaned closer and licked your scabbed cheek causing you to flinch back, "and I'm just making sure you're okay. A reckless thing like that could get you killed."

You almost muttered, 'that's the point' but caught your tongue at the last moment, turning away. Chat's face was close to yours, eyes scanning your features as he practically lied on top you. Your eyes gazed over to the clock on the wall, then the window, avoiding Chat's eyes.

"Adrien should be back soon..." You whispered.

Chat got off you but sat on the bed. "I just saw him at the photo shoot, it's about another half an hour to an hour," he replied.

"Have you seen Lupus anytime soon?" You changed the subject, hoping to distract Chat and also get his opinion and thoughts on the wolf.

Chat practically sneered. "There's been another Akuma attack and all the patrols we've been on, he hasn't shown up. If he bailed, good riddance."

Ouch.

"Do you know who he might be behind the mask?"

The cat was silent for a moment. "No. I bet he's pretty annoying though. Lupus is."

Double Ouch.

You pushed yourself up into a sitting position, leaning against the pillows. "W-why do you say that?"

Again, Chat remained silent and in thought, staring at the bed. His brows furrowed in concentration.

With a soft whisper, you added, "Is it because his hero side is annoying you?" 

Chat nodded. "He's just so... so self-centered and his jokes aren't even funny! He's cocky and-and..." he trailed off and sighed.

How hypocritical, Chat. You thought. "Would you rather just not have him as a partner?" You asked quietly, almost sadly.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" It didn't come out as harsh as it seemed.

Shrugging, you replied, "Curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat," with a smirk, the cat snickered at the saying.

"But," you added, "satisfactory brought it back." You smiled.

Chat laughed as he stood and made his way to the window, saluting you as he stood on the sill. "Well, my time is pretty much up. I'll see you soon, Y/n."

He jumped off as you saluted back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is a short filler chapter since it's not really plot or anything so. Here ya go. It's not my best, 922 (around there) words. Short. Sorry. Have some Chat and reader short fluff.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all might hate me

You dreaded going to school now. Adrien had to either carry you or push you in the wheelchair and neither seemed bully-free friendly. Especially around Chloe. You tried to get out of it, saying you could just use crutches and work around it (painfully) without the help. Adrien wouldn't take no for an answer and now you're going to be carried everywhere.

He was serious about it.

Your (good) arm was around his neck, head buried in his chest since it was the only place you could hide. The school was already in session, you both pretty late since it took awhile to actually get yourself dressed (sadly you had to have Adrien help you, and you were not going into detail as to what he had to help you with) and you were still embarrassed about that.

"I'll explain why I have to carry you and hopefully they'll be alright with it." Adrien shifted you in his arms and started up the steps carefully.

You groaned as you pressed your face to his chest. All you wanted was for the day to already be over; you didn't want to deal with anything today. Adrien sensed your distress, rubbing your shoulder where his hand rested - he couldn't exactly move his arms to comfort you any more than usual so that would have to do until later.

"You're gonna have to get the door," Adrien muttered as you both neared the classroom.

Your blue eyes raised from his chest, searching for the doorknob. Since your (bad) arm was in a cast, it was a bit harder to open the door, but easier than having Adrien try to open it.

Every. Single. Pair. Of. Fucking. Eyes. Every single one was on you and Adrien when the door opened and he slipped in. Your head was buried out of sight again, black hair the only thing that people could see. You had worn a grey hoodie and really baggy pants (to hide the casts) so it just looked like Adrien was carrying you for no absolute reason.

He set you down in your normal seat (beside him) and walked up to the teacher, muttering in a low voice to avoid everyone knowing what the hell happened. You dropped your head on the table, flipped up your hood with one arm, and hid. You could just barely hear people whispering and could only guess it was about you.

Nino leaned over, tapping on your shoulder. "How're your legs?" He asked.

You shrugged. "Pretty fucked up. I can't do shit by myself."

"Did Adrien have to help you dress?" Alya joined in from behind you, sounding quite smug.

You turned to glare at her, slightly wincing as you smacked your leg against the bench. Nino stifled a laugh as Marinette rubbed your shoulder the best she could. You debated whether or not you should move away but decided against it, reluctantly letting her touch you. It was the least you could do after (not exactly) making them go with you to the hospital.

"Shut up," you growled turning to face the desk. His attention was then brought back to the teacher as Adrien slid back into his seat between you and Nino.

The teacher had stood up, thanking Adrien for his info, and beckoned for someone to come in. "We have a new student joining us today, everyone. Please welcome Ethan Nakamura."

You stared at him in shock, eyes wide, body frozen. You couldn't tell if you were scared, or even terrified. He seemed to stop as well when his stormy grey eyes met your (e/c) orbs. He didn't seem to have changed much, besides the fact that he was built and taller but his fluffy hair had been dyed a fiery color. He wore a leather jacket and a white, graphic t-shirt, his pants covered in chains and silver designs, the boots were combat boots, also covered in silver spikes. Seems like he went punk.

Ethan. Nakamura. Ethan. The boy that drove you to kill yourself at 13-years-old. The boy that happened to be your first and last heartbreak. He was here. In flesh and all of his living glory...

He was the first to snap out of staring at you and took a seat beside Chloe. You, on the other hand, were unable to take your eyes off of him. It was not in an "Oh my gosh, he's so hot now, I love him again" type of way but "He's here. He's actually here in the flesh. Mother fucker I'm gonna die today". You didn't feel safe. All hope of feeling safe again was gone.

Adrien set his hand on your shoulder, gaining your attention back. "Are you alright, Y/n?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm okay." You ignored him and tuned into what the teacher has been talking about.

You could feel his stare burning holes into the side of your head but you refrained from looking over. Your body was shaking almost badly, your breath no longer even and coming out in short pants. Your throat was burning, your eyes dry. Without thinking, your hand searched for Adrien's catching his attention. He gave a confused look as he held your hand, only taking a few seconds for the realization to set in.

Adrien cursed softly under his breath, raising his other hand.

"Yes, Adrien?"

"Y/n is having a panic attack, I need to help them out of here." He moved so he was facing you squeezing your hand.

The teacher shook her head. "He'll get over it, Adrien. Just leave him be."

Alya slammed her hands on the table and stood up. "He can't  _breathe,_ miss!" She didn't listen when the teacher told her to sit down, rushing over to your side and helping Adrien get you out of the seat. Adrien slipped his arms under your legs and back, Marinette and Alya steadying you. Nino gathered your stuff and rushed out with it, the other three (standing) following him.

"We are so getting in trouble," Marinette muttered kneeling beside you as Adrien set you down in the hallway, trying to get you to calm down.

He was panicking with you, not exactly knowing how to help. "Wh-what triggered the attack?"

"It wasn't Chloe, she hasn't done anything yet," Marinette concluded.

"Teacher didn't do anything to point him out until after Adrien had called out," Nino added.

"I think it was Ethan," Alya shrieked, "They were staring at each other and Y/n seemed scared or surprised."

Adrien kinda waved it off. "We'll figure it out later, first, how do you calm down someone during a panic attack?"

Nino sat beside the blonde. "I thought you knew this because you did it before!"

"I was just guessing!"

You pulled at your hair with your good hand, the other dead-like, resting at your side. You could barely hear what they were saying anymore, blocking it out with the raging thoughts rushing through your head. Almost barely could you register Adrien's hands on your shoulders, his gaze meeting yours.

His thumb wiped at your cheek (had you been crying?) and cupped your cheeks so you could look at him. "Breath, Y/n. I need you to try and calm down, just listen to me. You're in a safe place, you're with us. Just, try and breathe with me, match your breath with mine."

You nodded closing your eyes, your good hand holding Adrien's wrist, matching the pace of his breathing, slowly calming down. He seemed to notice too, smiling softly.

"You're doing great, Y/n. It's going to be alright. You're safe and alive and okay..." His voice reached your thoughts, calming almost everything.

Sniffling, you nodded again, squeezing his wrist.

"Dude. How the fuck-" Nino commented.

Adrien slipped away from you, already making you miss his touch. He shrugged and went to pick you up, your arm instinctively wrapping around his neck. "I'll take Y/n to the nurse's office. You guys head back to class, maybe you won't get in as much trouble."

You didn't look up, your face buried in his chest. Honestly, you were glad you told Foxxie to stay hidden at the mansion. They would've been found out by someone during that.

As Adrien carried you to the Nurse's office, you barely moved and finally spoke. "I'm sorry..." You muttered with a raspy voice.

"No need to be. It wasn't your fault." He replied, setting you down in one of the beds since the nurse was nowhere to be seen.

But it was, you wanted to say. "You guys are gonna get in trouble because of me."

"It's worth it," he said, setting your bag and stuff down. "Your health, mental or physical, is more important than some subject in school. It was stupid that she said what she said."

"It's not easy to get over," you informed him.

Adrien nodded, sitting on the bed. Silence passed between the two of you, neither knowing what to say.

You played with sheets on the bed, staring at the wall across from you, silent.

"Get some sleep," Adrien whispered, playing with your hair. You sighed, lying on your side and, for once, following his request.

~~~

Lunch came too quickly. Adrien had finally convinced you to let him wheel you around in a wheelchair (you were kinda reluctant on leaving the bed) and brought you down to the steps, helping you sit on the top one with Marinette, Alya, Nino, and him. You were silent as you ate, taking small bites and barely touching your food. Adrien had brought it up a few times but you just waved it off and continued eating. You couldn't fucking wait until the bell rang for you to all go home.

"Hey, is it alright if I sit here?"

Refraining from looking up, you watched as Adrien nodded and allowed Ethan to sit beside him and in front of you.

**_XxSaltKingxX_ **

**_Help me, please_ **

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_XxHeroBoyxX_ **

**_What's happening? Do I need  
to find you? Are you hurt? Do_ **   
****_I need to call an ambulance?_

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_XxSaltKingxX_ **

****_I'm not hurt and it's okay no need_  
 to call the ambulance. I wish you  
were able to come here. Ethan is  
here and I'm freaking out. He's sitting  
with us and trying to talk to me and  
I don't want to talk to him

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_XxHeroBoyxX_ **

**_You can't leave either, can you..._ **

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_XxSaltKingxX_ **

****_My legs are broken, of course_  
I can leave. I'll just get up and walk  
away from everyone and everything  
and just go home. Yup. Totally  
able to do that.

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_XxHeroBoyxX_ **

**_Sassy. Well damn Mr. Sass King  
Master Sarcasm. Just try to ignore-_ **

Your phone was ripped from your hands, Ethan holding it away from you as he smiled sweetly. Bitterly sweet. "Don't you know how rude it is to ignore someone?"

Don't you know how rude it is to tell someone to kill themselves and purposely kill their soul? Oh wait, I guess not - you wanted to say. You held out your hand. "Give me my phone back," you growled.

"Oooh. Doesn't the puppy have some bark," Ethan taunted, laughing as he handed you your phone back. "So, how have you been since I last saw you?"

The last time you saw me was when I was on the floor, broken, embarrassed, and told to kill myself. You gripped your phone tightly, noting that the others were still there and you had to keep your cool. Sighing you went back to the text and waved him off. "Like I know who you are."

**_XxHeroBoyxX_ **

****_Sassy. Well damn Mr. Sass King_  
Master Sarcasm. Just try to ignore  
him and focus on talking to me or  
your other friends. Act like you have no  
idea who he is or anything.

**_Sent 5 Minutes Ago  
Read 5 Minutes Ago_ **

**_XxSaltBoyxX_ **

**_I plan to._ **

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

**_~~~~_ **

**_ Welcome Back, Ethan. _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all might hate me more.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Lupus returns and you can run around again although Chat has... different ideas and is not at all happy about your sudden return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, don't worry. Here's the chapter everyone has been waiting for. I've stalled for too long!

You couldn't wait for the day to get out of the stupid casts and be able to walk again. One more week. Just one more week of dealing with Ethan and being unable to walk away. One more week of Adrien carrying you everywhere. One more week then you get to hide away in your own room in your own house once again. Just one more fucking damn week.

A week of fucking hell.

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Can I die yet?_ **

**_Sent 15 Minutes Ago  
Read Now_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

****_Just give me three more weeks,  
less than a month and I'll be over  
there and your bones will be healed._

**_Sent Now  
Read Now_ **

He was against it too. Well fuck. You groaned and flopped back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling. Can you have a crush on someone you've never met or seen? The only thing you knew of about him was his voice (which was the best thing you've ever heard) and the fact that he was blonde. He did some singing videos for you and in one he did show his face - well, kinda, it was blurred out and covered but his hair was blonde.

Adrien had gone out for a photo-shoot, his dad was nowhere to be seen, Nathalie was also somewhere, that bodyguard guy was with Adrien, so technically, you had the house to yourself and you couldn't walk. Great. You pushed yourself up into a seated position and leaned against the headboard, crossing your arms.

Foxxie lied in the crook of your arm, munching on a small piece of chocolate. "Don't look so bummed, Y/n, you'll be healed in no time! I mean, if you transform they'll be healed more than they are now - at least enough for you to walk." They looked away guiltily and coughed a bit. 

You glared down at the Kwami. "I was never told this before... why?"

"Because you'd overuse the privilege?" They guessed.

Technically it was true. You would be given the power to walk and run while as your alter-self and you'd abuse it and go everywhere...

"Would you be willing to allow me to use the privilege? I need someplace to go other than this bed," you asked.

Foxxie nodded, finishing off the chocolate and flying up to your eye level. "Yeah! Just, not for too long, Adrien will be back soon."

Humming in acknowledgment, you spoke the phrase you haven't used in so long. "Foxxie, start the hunt!"

The feeling was the same as your body was encased in the leather but this time you could feel the bones in your legs and arm shift and reconnect (which felt really funky, to be honest) and the casts disappeared. Teal eyes widened in surprise and happiness as you jumped off the bed and laughed, spinning and jumping. You were quick to open and jump out a window, running along the rooftops towards the Eiffel Tower. Almost out of instinct, you climbed quickly to a beam you could sit on that was pretty high up, looking over the city.

You were only able to get a few minutes of silence and peace before and thud sounded behind you. Either Chat or Ladybug and you didn't want to talk to either - especially with how long you've been avoiding them - but whoever was there didn't move any closer.

"Where have you been?" Chat's voice growled out the words as he remained behind you.

Sighing, you stood and turned to face him. "Why should you care? You hate me anyway," you muttered, crossing your arms.

Chat was in front of you in a split second, his hand wrapped around your throat (tightly) and leaned you over the edge. He was glaring and snarling at you. Your hands wrapped around his hand and wrist, holding on as your eyes widened and you tried pulling yourself up and away from the edge. Fear raced through your veins as your feet barely reached the edge, mostly holding yourself up by Chat's arm.

He loosened his hand from your neck a bit so you could breathe, but kept you up. "I won't ask a third time because if I have to - I will drop you," he threatened, "now, where the  _hell_  have you been?"

He pulled you up enough to quickly switch from his hand around your neck to grabbing the fabric of the suit, holding it tightly. You almost screamed, tightening your hands around his arm as memories flash in front of your eyes. "I-I'll tell you! I'll tell you! Please just,  just bring me back to the beam, I'm begging you!" Your hands tightened even more, eyes squeezing shut as fear passed over your features.

Chat stared at you in soft concern, pulling you back up and steadying you with your back against the beam, trapping you there instead. "There. Now,  _talk_."

Pressing your back harder into the beam, inevitably somewhat hurting your spine, you spoke slowly. "I'm not physically as able to do things as I - fuck, um, only today I was told, realized or shit. Dammit! I'm not able to walk or shit as well as I can with the powers and shit and I have no idea what I'm trying to explain... Shit's happened and I've been unable to transform and join you guys... I'm sorry... really." Stuttering had to be your worst nightmare. It was your worst enemy, worst nightmare, and worst everything. "My anxiety and stuff have been getting worse so... motivation and everything hasn't been great either." Liar. Mostly. Your motivation was half of it, as well as anxiety and depression and PTSD while the other half was actually the fact you couldn't walk but you left that out in case Chat actually knew you outside of all this hero stuff.

Chat was silent for a few moments, pushing off the beam to free you and took a few steps back. "Even then, you've been neglecting your duties as a Miraculous holder-"

"I don't think you would have any type of motivation to even do shit if you've been through what I've been through - especially in America!" You interrupted, taking a courageous step forward. 

"Then tell me so I can understand!" He yelled back, copying your movement.

He towered over you, easily at least six inches taller. You had to look up to even face him and it was not helping the fact that you felt vulnerable and small. Tears had already begun welding up in your eyes, soaking in your mask and tinting the edges a dark grey. "I'll tell you the major thing because if I tell you the rest -" you might figure out who I am behind this suit and mask, "-it'll reveal my identity more than I want."

Chat took notice of the tears and backed off a bit, his face softening into a gaze as he waited. "Then tell me so I can understand," he repeated more calmly, controlling his anger.

You nodded, wiping your eyes and sighing as you leaned against the beam behind you, reaching just under your suit and pulling out the pendant. Chat's eyes widened as he recognized it as Volpina's and began to open his mouth to ask but you held up your hand. "Just wait," you muttered, rubbing it with your thumb softly, "I'll explain soon enough - I know you recognize it and who's it might've been."

"Volpina's," Chat stated, "she had that same pendant unless it's the same one."

Shaking your head no, you took a shaky breath and began. "Chat, Ladybug, and others are also in America - it's different for every country but I've noticed they're the same from where I was from. This was my... my partner's. My best friends... Kettu was their hero name... their actual name was Cameron. We, uh, ended up finding each other's identities by accident and we just so happened to be really good friends under the mask so we stuck together. There were a few times we tried dating but it never really worked out since we tried too hard and it just fell apart so we remained friends and it was... it was... it went great. They were... they were the only one there for me then - the only one that seemed to care about me and I latched onto them."

You stopped, biting your lip to keep from sobbing as you hated this story and remembering it. You still had nightmares. Chat waited patiently for you to calm down a bit, standing awkwardly as he had no idea what to do.

"Sorry," you muttered, rubbing the pendant.

Chat shook his head. "Don't apologize, just take your time."

You nodded, silently thanking him. "The reason... The- fuck. The reason I have their... Their miraculous is - well, to put it short, they died. In my arms. We were helping the police fight the gang that started shooting up the block and they got shot. The bullet went in and out and through the aorta so there was no way of them surviving. They barely had more than a few minutes to live left because of it." You stopped, biting your knuckle. Before Chat could say anything, you added, "The only reason I'm still alive is because they told me - their last words, actually, were 'Don't give up'. I wouldn't want to disappoint if I joined them early." You tried to laugh - to be a bit funny. It was short lived as you almost cried again.

"What about their Kwami?" Chat asked in such a low voice, you barely heard it. When you didn't answer, he guessed, "They... didn't make it either, did they?"

"Trickster was their Kwami's name... After they... passed... I ended up using both Miraculous' at the same time and, out of rage, I-" you stopped, choking on the words, "I...  _killed_ the people that killed Cameron. I was in a blind rage and didn't know what I was doing - it was out of instinct as I had both a Fox and Wolf mixed and they're predators-"

You stopped, remember what you had said years ago when the Kwami's tried to warn you about what would happen.

_"I don't give a fuck, I want those people dead."_

_"I **want**  those people  **dead."**_

Your mouth fell open as your eyes widened more, tears overflowing from your eyes as you realized it. It wasn't because of instinct or blind rage - those were added bonus'. You said so yourself that you wanted them dead and you  _killed_ them.

A sob left your lips as you covered them with your hand, sliding down the beam. Chat followed you, surprise and concern lacing his features. His hand found home on your shoulder, squeezing it softly. 

"I... I purposely killed them for revenge," you whispered.

Chat barely caught what you said. Keyword:  _barely._  He still heard exactly what you had said and wished he hadn't. "You were angry," he tried to reason, "They had just killed your best friend, your partner, and you... it affected you."

"But I  _killed them,_ " You repeated, mostly in disbelief.

There was another reason the world didn't deserve you. Was there a way to hide or run from Adrien without him knowing? Speaking of Adrien, he was probably home by now.

Shakily, you stood, using the beam as a support. Chat steadied you, wrapping an arm around your waist instinctively and held you up. "I don't think you're at all okay for running off, Lupus."

You shook your head, muttering, "Adrien's probably back by now..."

Chat tensed at the words, eyes scanning your form as he tried to pinpoint how the soft voice sounded familiar. Also... how did you know Adrien? Chat practically feared the thought of you knowing who he was behind the mask.

"Wh-what about Adrien?" Chat asked, cursing himself for stuttering.

Tensing, you shook your head. "Nothing! Nothing, just me talking to myself. Don't worry about it."

Chat's form relaxed as he tightened his grip on you, picking you up easily. You still couldn't stand correctly on your own and both of you barely had any more time left. You had shrieked as your arms wrapped around his neck tightly, avoiding looking down and pressing your face into his chest. This was all too familiar and both you and Chat froze. You refused to speak, keeping your face tucked away, eyes widened. Chat shook himself out of it and shifted you a bit.

"Scared of heights?" He asked, shifting his weight to his other leg.

You nodded lightly, still not speaking. What if he figured out you were Y/n? The last time he had carried you like this was when you couldn't get down from the Tower not too long ago and he brought you home. Now was not the time to figure out who was who.

Chat hummed and set you down again, turning around. "I'll carry you, jump on."

With a laugh, you wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. "I thought you hated me," you stated, tightening your arms as he stood straight.

"Yeah, I do but I'm not gonna leave you here to suffer from fear." He used his staff to jump from the Tower to a rooftop, causing you to also tighten your legs around him, pressing your face into his neck, refusing to look up.

You muttered a thank you, barely heard over the wind and muffled a bit from his neck. Chat nodded in response, dropping you off on a roof close enough to the Agreste mansion (without really realizing it) and stayed long enough to make sure you could stand straight and able to get home. Once you split ways, you ran as fast as possible towards the mansion and jumped through the open window, closing it as you detransformed (accidentally) and fell to the ground beside the couch. Close enough.

The door flew open, Adrien running through. You hurriedly pushed Foxxie into your shirt and used your good arm to push yourself up, groaning in slight pain. Everything was broken again and it happened so fast that you were barely able to register it until the feeling of them breaking again hit you like a semi-truck on the highway. Adrien was by your side in a second, helping get you onto the couch and comfortable, running out to get food and tea  _ **(or hot chocolate if you don't like tea)**_ letting that heat up just to run back into the room.

"Nothing else is broken, right?" Adrien asked, checking you over, his hands pressing lightly at your chest, ribs, thighs, arms, hips - he wasn't aware of what he was doing until a few seconds later, his face burning a bright red.

Yours matched a tomato as you softly pushed his hands away. "N-no, I'm not hurt anywhere else - it's alright."

He sighed in relief,  dropping his head to rest on your upper arm, avoiding the cast. "Why did you try to move over here?" He muttered.

You shrugged. "Thought I could make it." Blunt and kinda clueless, you stared at the window, curious as to where Chat had gone to and who he may be.

Adrien sighed again and stood. "I'll be right back with some food. Please don't try to move somewhere without help, I don't want you to hurt your legs or arms any more than they already are."

Before he left, you nodded and looked towards the tv. Adrien left quickly after that.

"Is he gone?" Foxxie whispered from your shirt.

You nodded. "Yeah, there's also some chocolate in my jacket by the bed. Be careful."

They beamed as they flew towards your jacket and disappeared inside. Not a second too late too, Adrien stepped back in with a tray of food, setting it on the coffee table.

"My dad and Natalie aren't around," he informed you, "I have no idea where they are."

With his help, you sat up against the arm of the couch, Adrien sitting on the other end as you had given him enough room and the fact your feet didn't touch the other end. And it wasn't even a large couch. You were just that small.

Adrien seemed to notice you pouting, poking his leg with your foot, barely able to graze his jeans. "Hey there, shorty," he teased, handing you your cup of tea/hot cocoa.

You blew a raspberry at him and took the cup, sipping it slowly. After draining almost half of it, he took it from your hands and set a plate of food on your lap. Thanking him, you began eating and your eyes lit up brightly, trying not to choke as you swallowed what was in your mouth.

"Did you make this?" You asked before shoveling more in, silencing yourself.

Adrien laughed. "Sadly, no. I can't cook as well as that. There were a few cooks still in the kitchen and were happy to make some for us." He started eating from his own plate, sitting down in the same spot again.

Silence fell over you both as you continued eating, your plates empty not long after. Once again, you thanked Adrien as he gathered everything and headed back down to the kitchen. 

You shifted on the couch till you lied on your side, and closed your eyes. Holy hell, the couch was comfy and you were out before the blonde got back.

Adrien smiled at your sleeping form, grabbing a blanket and pillow, throwing the blanket over your body and softly lifting your head to place the pillow under you. Maybe he could talk to the Principal and get him to let you stay home until your legs were healed - it was pretty hard carrying you around all day - but he felt bad about saying that because you weren't all that heavy. He could get notes from the teachers about the lecture and bring the homework home for you to work on; easy enough.

He sighed as he walked away and stripped off his shirt and jeans, changing into his pajamas and crawled into bed, shutting the light off. Darkness spread over the room and he stared at the ceiling for what felt like half an hour, just pondering about the encounter with Lupus. Sure, he...  _disliked_  the wolf but something about him felt familiar. His fear of heights and sitting on the Eiffel Tower alone, thinking to himself just reminded him so much about his accidental meetup with you. In the same area... the same timing as the sun was just starting to set then... same posture... same soft, scared voice... Adrien's eyes widened as he sat up in bed and held his head.

_You were Lupus._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I leave another cliffhanger? Yes. Am I proud of it? Yes. Do I regret it? No. Also, Ethan will come back sometime, I don't know when but I'm kinda focusing on Chat/Adrien and Y/n/Lupus instead right now. Oh. And. You all remember xXHeroBoyXx, right? Blonde. Nice singing voice. Practically in love with Y/n- 
> 
> You read right.
> 
> Fucking love square or a love triangle or something. IT'S FUCKING GREAT SO FIGHT ME I DARE YOU.
> 
> (I got over 3000 words on this one!!)
> 
> Let's see,
> 
> Chat - Y/n  
> Adrien - Y/n  
> xXHeroBoyXx - Y/n  
> Ethan - Y/n  
> ???? - Y/n
> 
> Yes, there's gonna be another.
> 
> No, it's not Marinette or Chloe. I promise.
> 
> So, I've got a question for ya. Do you think even the worst person can change?
> 
> Should I start making surveys for y'all to take for the next chapter(s)? Maybe? I'll be posting them on Quotev for you to take (my user is ExtremeMasters there) if you want so, look out for those if y'all want me to post them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be short as I'm probably gonna keep it as a conversation between xXHeroBoyXx and xXSaltKingXx aka Mystery Boy and You. Oh, and you finally get to know his nickname - but not his whole name. :) Have fun. ;) There was also a title change as I really didn't want it to continue being just Chat/Adrien x Male!Reader. That's not a title.

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_You've been pretty quiet. You still alive, dude? I really hope you are, I don't know what I'd do if you died..._ **

**_Sent 5 Minutes Ago  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Nah. Still alive, sadly. I ain't dead yet. I haven't been able to talk much, sorry. Staying at a different house, trying to heal - man these fucking casts are bitches on my legs and arm. I hate them. Everything itches and I can't get to it.  
Oh and Lupus finally showed up again, although Chat was the only one who had seen or talked to him since he disappeared and reappeared. No one else knows what happened._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

****_YOU'RE ALIVE THAT'S GREAT ALRIGHT DUDE._  
So Lupus finally decides to show his face again? What the hell dude, after like almost a month or two he finally appears? And only Chat has been able to talk to him  
Wait.  
How did you know that Chat was the only one able to talk to him?

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Yeah.  
Well... Chat and I kinda talk here and there??? He started it._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_You aren't... together, right? Are you still single?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_I'm still single. No, we aren't involved like that. Even then, lately he's been pretty distant, I haven't been able to have a great conversation with him - he keeps getting flustered or zones out. Doesn't really bother me, it's just kinda hard._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_.... Maybe he likes you?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Nah. He likes Ladybug._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_Y/n... I bet that if I was there watching you two chat, I'm sure Chat has a crush on you.  
Wow. That just shows how you need a capital letter in his name ^_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Eli... I doubt it. There's no way he would like me. Much less put up with me._ **

**_Sent_ **   
**_Delivered_ **

Silence now. Your phone had stopped vibrating and he hadn't answered yet. Of course, it's true. Chat had a crush on Ladybug, he could never like someone like you - bisexual or not - you also had no idea who he was behind the mask, he could just be playing with you. It crushed you to even think he might be playing with you.

You still didn't get any answer from him. Nothing. He just... went silent. You placed your phone on your chest and sighed, closing your eyes as you listened to the silent house. Mansion. Whatever. Adrien had left for school about two hours ago while his father was nowhere to be seen. Adrien had assigned a maid to take care of you when you needed it, entering the room and checking up on you, asking if you needed anything, every half an hour to forty-five minutes.

Frantically unlocking your phone as it vibrated, your heart dropped in disappointment as it wasn't xXHeroBoyXx.

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_You doing alright? Need anything? Alive?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_Me_ **

**_Yup. Nope. Still breathing so I think I'm still alive. I feel like death tho._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_No dying on me. Just hang in there for another few hours, even till lunch. Please._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_Me_ **

**_Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_Hey, if you don't mind me asking, do you know much about Lupus?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_Me_ **

**_A little, why?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_Have you met him?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

He completely ignored your question.

**_Me_ **

**_Why?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_Sorry. I was just curious._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_Me_ **

**_You know anything about Chat?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_Either you're just trying to get back at me or..._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_Me_ **

**_You just reminded me that I wanted to talk to someone about him._ **

**_Sent_ **   
**_Read_ **

**_HorryModelBoy_ **

**_I know a bit about him, mostly from Alya's blog and the interviews on the news._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

You sneered at the screen.  _Bullshit..._

**_Me_ **

**_Do you personally know him?_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

It went silent for minutes. Neither boy texting you back at all. In frustration, you threw your phone, softly, across the room and groaned. Well isn't that dandy. Now you gotta somehow get up and grab the device. Deciding against it, you rolled over onto your side and huffed, staring at the dead TV. You decided against turning it on, forcing yourself to sit up and lean against the back of the couch.

A small smile lifted at the corner of your lips as Foxxie flew over and grabbed the heavy (for them) object, dragging it back to you. They smiled brightly at you and without another word - flew back to their hiding spot to either sleep, eat, or whatever they do. 

**_HottyModelBoy_ **

**_Sorry, had to put my phone away for a bit. I kinda know him. Not very much or all that personally._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, debating what to say and, inevitably, giving up as you didn't know what to put. Slightly giving up on it, you went back to messages and clicked on xXHeroBoyXx's icon.

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_That's like saying I don't like nor can put up with you_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_But guess what buddy_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_I can and I do and I chose to_ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_And I swear if you tell me otherwise, try to fight me, or anything along those lines - I will stab you._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXHeroBoyXx_ **

**_I will find you, and I will stab you and kill you then bring you back to life and kill you myself again._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

**_xXSaltKingXx_ **

**_Nice to know I'll be killed for disagreeing._ **

**_Sent  
Read_ **

This time, you didn't answer and turned off your phone, setting it on the couch and lying back down, throwing the blanket over your form and sighing. Maybe a little sleep could clear your head. Maybe. Or another nightmare could confine him in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should the next chapter hold a nightmare?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Change of plans: I'm doing the nightmare sometime else. It's hard enough to try to write it. I got so far then gave up. So, this is still a pretty graphic chapter, including Anxiety Attacks, Self-Harm, Smoking, Abuse. Also, I feel bad for writing the enemy's name. My partner's name is Ethan. The enemy is Ethan Nakamura
> 
> Weeks Later, Once Your Bones Finally Healed

The feeling of finally being able to walk around without help (and any more training since your muscles had to get used to it again) was heaven. You've been able to easily avoid Ethan and Chloe, who seemed to team up with your mortal enemy, running away. You've been avoiding Adrien as well, as he had with you, so it was pretty easy to hide away, alone. Well, besides having Foxxie there with you, you were technically alone.

Stretching and sighing, you glared at the flashing lights on the clock and shut off the alarm. Time for your regular school routine.  You had started despising school again, having to be seated next to Nathaniel and right behind Ethan, who sat beside Ivan. Luckily, Nathaniel wasn't much for conversation, leaving you to be quiet and not bothered with useless chatting. A soft scoff left your lips as you changed into baggy sweats, the ones you danced in mostly, a black  _Jack Daniels_  t-shirt, and grey jacket. Slipping into the black and white hi-tops, you grabbed your bag and called for Foxxie.

Sliding soundlessly out of your window and closing it, you gripped your bag's shoulder tightly and jumped down, running from roof to roof. You got halfway to where the school was before another person -  _Chat Noir_  to be exact - ran full force into you, knocking your bag off your arm and you onto the roof.

The two of you rolled from the force a few times, almost falling off the roof. Chat landed on top of you, straddling you the way you had when you first met him. His green eyes narrowed as he stared at your teal ones, brows furrowing in contemplation.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked in all seriousness.

You answered blankly, "Chat Noir."

"Behind the mask, smart-ass," he growled.

"How would I know who you are? Out of all the people I know, they act nothing like the selfish, narcissistic, fuck-up that's sitting on top of me." You snapped back.

His hands had grabbed your wrists when you moved to push him, holding them tightly above your head, lips curled into a snarl. "I'm none of those things and you fucking know it."

You mirrored his look. "Then fucking prove it. Prove that you're not a selfish, fucking narcissist because so far, you've been nothing like that towards me."

"I'm not-"

"All you fucking care about is Ladybug and the fucking Miraculous'! You've been nothing but shitty towards me and all I'm doing it is mirroring you. The fact that I've been  _physically unable_  to transform or run around like you and Ladybug had been, is practically thrown aside when you give me shit for never showing up!" You cut him off, shouting.

_Shit, you should probably be quieter. It was around five in the morning and people were still sleeping._

Chat refused to let you go, no matter how much you moved around, bucked up to throw him off, or anything. You tried lifting your hips to push him off balance again, only resulting in him blushing a bright red, dropping his head, and pushing you back down.

" _Quit that_ ," he growled. "I don't care all about Ladybug, that's passed. I've been shitty towards you because, honestly,  _you're competition._ You're a fox, I'm a cat. The balance there is almost none. You've been able to physically transform as well. I've seen the way you run while transformed and dammit, there is nothing wrong with you!"

 _Well,_  you thought, _figured out what's making him slightly annoyed and it has to do with my hips._

"Try mental as well, dammit!" You yelled, thrusting your hips up again. "I'm mentally incapable of doing shit because of what's been going on. Motivation hasn't been something that stays very long either."

Chat growled, a bit darker than before, pushing you down and tightening his grip on your wrists. " _Then find your fucking motivation or leave._ "

And with that, he pushed off you and left.

First Ethan, now Chat? This day is gonna get shittier, you were betting on it.

With heavy arms, you pushed yourself up and grabbed your bag, barely finding it in you to walk. It took longer than you had hoped to get to school, ending up there late after you had de-transformed and broke down in the alley. You walked into the classroom like nothing happened, handing the teacher a late pass and took your seat silently. Nathaniel knew better than to ask what happened, giving you a sympathetic look, then going back to his drawing.

Ethan wasn't as smart. He turned around in his seat, lying his head on his elbow as his eyes bored into yours with such  _innocent_  intensity that you were uncomfortable. You tried to ignore him, staring ahead at the teacher and trying to listen to what she was teaching. Instead, his staring and her droning made it so you started zoning out and playing with the pendant on your choker.

 _"Pay attention to the lesson, Ethan,"_  you growled softly without making eye contact.

He huffed and rolled his eyes in response.  _"Nah, I'd rather stare at you, cutie."_

 _"Well, you're making me_ really  _uncomfortable."_

_"Too bad."_

_"Thanks."_

"Ethan, Maxx, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

Ethan spun around quickly, gaining the class' attention. "Nope. Nothing going on here. P _rrrrrr_ oceed."

She glared at him, as did you, and continued with her lesson. Sweeping your eyes around the room, they barely caught Adrien's before he turned back around. From what Maxx could tell, he looked a bit pissed.

 _"_ _Espero que te quemes en el infierno, hijo de puta, 1" _you growled towards the back of Ethan's head.

He just snickered.  _"Creo que te veré allí. 2"_

Fuck, he knows Spanish.  _"_ _¿Dónde carajo aprendiste español? 3"_

 _"Yo quería aprender tu lengua materna_ _. 4"_

Smart ass.

"Ethan and Maxx," the teacher called again, "if I have to tell you both to quit talking again, I'm sending you both to the principal's office."

 _"Muchas gracias, gilipollas. 5" _You grumbled, sliding down in your seat when people began staring.

When will the class end?

~~~

Leaving the school was all you wanted - you had just that class for the day since the others were supposedly canceled and then you were done and ready to go home. You purposely avoided Adrien and Ethan all day, inevitably avoiding Marinette, Nino, and Alya as well. Every time they tried to talk to you, you made an excuse to leave in a rush. It resulted in a few pissy texts from Alya and concerned ones from Marinette.

You turned off your phone, running as fast as your legs could carry you (with a bag smacking against you) down the sidewalk, expertly avoiding obstacles and people. Even with running, you lived pretty far away from the school. Although you did cut off a good half hour from the hour and seven-minute walk. Now it was just thirty-seven minutes instead. Maybe if you keep it up and take the many shortcuts you knew through the alleys, you could shave off more.

And hopefully get home before your parents did.

"You're running pretty fast, mon loup."

_My wolf... Adrien? How did he know who you were?_

You whirled around on your heel, yelping as you came face-to-face with Chat Noir instead. Disoriented, you stared at him and muttered, "Adrien..?"

The black cat's green eyes widened ten-fold and he backed away. "N-no! I'm not Adrien."

Definitely Adrien.

Frowning, you shook your head. "Nope. You're a liar."

He sneered. "Well then, Lupus, aren't we just a lucky bunch."

"That would make Marinette Ladybug," you stated, grabbing your bag, which had fallen from your shoulder when you flipped out.

Chat raised an eyebrow. "And where did you come up with that?"

"The hair. She's the only one with blue, shoulder length, hair in pigtails."

"Oh. Wait, how'd you figure out me then?"

"So you admit it."

"No, I'm just-"

"You just admitted to being Adrien."

"... Fuck you. How?"

"Voice. Hair. Eyes. Kinda just put the puzzle together and made a wild guess. You could've been Chloe."

"Hell no."

Shrugging, you ignored him again and began walking off, wiping the small layer of sweat that beaded on your forehead. You could hear Chat follow you but refused to say anything.

You needed to quit being so nice to him... He didn't deserve your kindness. Nor did you need him to be so close to you.

At least ten minutes passed with Chat following you home in silence before you snapped and turned around. "Can you not?"

Chat tilted his head innocently. Faking. "Can I not what?"

"Follow me, you asshole. Leave."

He laughed and held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fine. Fine. I'll leave but you better show up tonight for patrol."

You shrugged but said nothing as he went one way and you went another. Home Sweet Hell. The door was locked, no cars you recognized in the lot, meaning you were home alone. Luckily.

It was easy to slip into the apartment quietly, closing and re-locking the door to make it seem as if no one had entered. You could easily just steal so much from the house and leave without anyone noticing but... that wouldn't end well. Already he knew that if he left his room today he'd most likely get a beating - half for no reason and the other half for making them pay for the hospital bills.

You needed to hide.

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

Your room wasn't going to be your sanctuary for much longer. If you went outside as Lupus, Chat would be all on your ass about shit. If you went outside  _not_  as Lupus, that was just asking for trouble in the dark.

You had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. Then again, you wouldn't turn to anyone. All you would do is create a burden for them to carry for you. Of course, you hated that and would never want to give someone else that weight.

Your back slammed against the wall as you bit back tears, sliding down to sit on the floor. Foxxie flew out of their hiding space and landed on your arm, a concerned look crossing their small features. You dropped your head into your arms to hide, curling up.

It was useless.There was nowhere in your room you could hide without them finding you and beating you more for hiding away.

"Maxx... you have to leave for a bit," Foxxie muttered, tugging at your hair softly. "When your parents get here..."

You nodded. "I know. I have nowhere to go, though."

"We can just run around," they suggested.

"Chat's gonna find me then."

"We can sit at the Eiffel Tower, again."

"Chat."

"...what about... we could..." Foxxie sighed, "I...I don't know. Maxx, I'm sorry..."

You just shrugged and wiped your eyes. "It's alright. I'm used to it anyways."

 _"_ _Bueno, él está en casa. ¿Dónde crees que fue a esconderse? 6"_

_"Revisa su habitación, estoy seguro de que está allí. Siempre lo está, el pequeño cabrón. 7"_

"Oi! Ven para acá, chico,8" your dad shouted.

A loud  _thud_  rang across the house. One you could only register as him hitting the wall as hard as he could.

You tripped while trying to get up, scrambling to open the door and rush downstairs. The longer they waited, the worse it would get.

Your foot barely touched the last step before a hand landed on your cheek, throwing you into the wall. He bounced off and onto the floor, your cheek stinging. In a state of shock, you sat there, holding your cheek tenderly as it flared.

"You pathetic piece of  _shit!_ " You father roared, kicking you to your back and stepping on your chest. "If you hadn't gone and jumped off that roof, we would've been 29224.44 euros richer!" He pressed his foot down, slowly adding pressure.

The pressure started blocking off your airway, breathing became difficult and you were beginning to struggle to get air into your lungs.

"Yeah, well if you keep this up, you'll have to pay more since you're gonna break my ribs!" You snapped back, wheezing out the last of your breath.

Steam practically blew from his ears as he let up his foot and bent down to grab your shirt. "You little-"

Your back met the wall, the back of his hand leaving a second stinging mark against your cheek. It was in the same exact place as the first one. You were thrown to the side, onto the floor, your elbows skidding against the polished, wooden floor. The sound of flesh-on-floor made you wince, the burning sensation from your elbows flared up and down your arms.

Your dad gave you a dark glare but backed away and left to a different room with his wife and their sons. Your brothers. The youngest gave you a confused stare while the oldest just shook his head and followed his parents, dragging the youngest along with him.

Forcing yourself to stand, you held your throat tenderly with one hand, slowly lowering it to rub your chest, the other pressed against your cheek. You didn't wait around for your parents to come back, heading back upstairs.

"Maxx!" Foxxie shouted, flying to you and staring at the bruise forming on your cheek.

You brushed them off, holding them in your hands. "It's alright, Foxxie. Nothing I can't handle." You smiled softly, your voice raspy.

They sighed softly but nodded and let it slide. "What about patrol?"

"I'll still show up. We should probably leave soon though," you stared at the window where the sky started lighting up a bright orange and pink. "Let me clean up and we'll go."

You set the Kwami down and headed into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. Maybe you could get a few cuts in here and there and still walk out looking like nothing happened... Maybe. You could possibly... no, it would hurt under your suit. Chat would notice you wincing and everything would just go downhill from there. You didn't need that. Shaking your head, you got to work cleaning your elbows and wrapping them, rubbing some bruising cream on his cheek. Hopefully, it'll help.

Exiting the bathroom, you motioned for Foxxie and opened your balcony door, closing it when they were flying in front of you. Silently, you tucked the small, rectangular pack in your sleeve and held the lighter tightly.

"Foxxie, start the hunt!"

The transformation was quick and in no time, you were practically flying over the roofs towards the Eiffel Tower. You could easily patrol from there, considering how high up it was, your sense of sight, smell, and hearing.

Taking a seat in your normal spot on the tower, you pulled the pack from your sleeve (as it didn't disappear when you transformed) and pulled a cigarette out. You knew how bad it was for you - you didn't care anymore. If it could kill you quicker - so be it. Plus, it calmed Foxxie when you de-transformed. They absorbed half your feelings and energy when transformed - all Kwami did - so when you did anything to feel content and calm as Lupus, they felt the same.

Holding the cancer stick between your lips, you held a hand over it and the lighter, taking a few tries to get the flame and light the cigarette. You barely got to inhale before Chat spoke up behind you.

"So, you're a druggie?"

You almost fell off the beam in laughter (while coughing painfully), holding the cigarette tightly between your fingers. You had to smack your chest a few times to get the feeling out, having choked on the smoke and inhaled wrong.

Chat waited till you calmed down a bit to move a bit closer, leaning against the other beam across from you, his belt-tail swishing side-to-side angrily.

"You think I'm a druggie from taking a smoke?" You asked, almost in disbelief, maybe mockery. "Well, this is the only 'drug' I do. Everything else is worse."

The cat sighed but said nothing against it. "Fine, whatever. Just don't blow the smoke towards me and we'll be fine."

You nodded and leaned back on your unoccupied hand, inhaling the cigarette. Chat moved to sit closer to you, keeping far enough away to avoid the smoke.

"So," he started, "I wanted to talk to you."

"Well, what about?"

 

**_ALRIGHT UPDATE:_ **

**_I forgot to add the translations so here ya go._ **

**_1. I hope you burn in hell, you son of a bitch_ **

**_2. I guess I'll see you there_ **

**_3\. Where did you learn Spanish?_ **

**_4\. I wanted to learn your mother tongue._ **

**_5\. Thanks a lot, asshole (directly translated as: Thank you, asshole)_ **

**_6._ ** _**Well, he is at home. Where do you think he went to hide?** _

_**7. Check his room, I'm sure he's there. He is always, the little shit.** _

**_8._ ** **_Oi! Get out here, boy._ **

**_All were translated through Google Translate so if any aren't correct and you know the actual translation, please tell me and I'll fix it asap._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you LysanderAmethyst for catching the last two sentences and finding better wording!


	13. Chapter 13

Elijah sighed as he took one last glance at his phone, rereading the same address for the tenth time. He's only been to this part of Paris for six minutes and he was already lost. Or he was just really anxious and didn't want to find this meeting place for the sake of being cat-fished. It has happened before and it was really shitty. What if he wasn't who he said he was? What if he was someone else?

He hated the dreadful feeling.

**_XxSaltKingxX_ **

_(insert random ass address over here because I'm not gonna go looking for one) Meet me here in two days. I'll give you some time to think about it and maybe get ready if you do decide to come._

_**Sent Two Days Ago  
Read Two Days Ago** _

Now, he had to find the Salt King. He couldn't exactly display his name on a board, since the other kid only knew his username, and his nickname. Elijah only knew him by his username, he was never given a nickname or real name of some sort - always told to just call him 'King'. Like Harlequin from Seven Deadly Sins, Eli's favorite character.

Eli sighed, leaning against a tree in the park and staring at the address again. Where was the place? Was he near the place? He quickly messaged King that he was there and sat on a bench.

~~~

Staring at the computer in your lap, you groaned and closed it with such force, it startled the other three people around you. Alya laughed and Marinette placed her hand on her chest, sighing. Adrien raised an eyebrow at you as you pouted, stifling a laugh.

"Did you get an answer?" Alya asked, a shit-eating grin on her face.

Your cheeks burned red as your answer, continuing to stare at the ground.

"Well?" Marinette jumped in, leaning on her hands to get closer to you.

You pushed her back by placing your hand on her face. "Maybe, okay?"

Alya squealed and you had to cover your ears (as Adrien did as well), wincing. "You gotta tell us!!! But, we don't even know this mysterious person, have you seen them before?!"

Shaking your head no, you sighed and opened the computer, rereading the last message, then shrugging. "They wanna meet up."

"So we know they live in Paris," Marinette muttered, "but where do they wanna meet up?"

You glared at her and closed the laptop. "That's for me to know and you to never find out."

"Jerk," Alya mumbled quietly.

With another shrug, you stood and headed for your bag, packing away the computer and slinging the bag over your shoulder. "Well, I'm gonna run off. See you whenever and don't follow me - I mean it Alya."

An accusing finger was pointed in her direction, her hands raised in surrender as a response. "Alright, alright. I won't."

You huffed and left, thanking Marinette and her parents for their hospitality on you way out. Everyone stared at the trapdoor leading downstairs for a few minutes in silence, Nino only breaking it after a good amount of time.

"You're going after him, aren't you?"

Alya laughed. "No, I'm not. He  _specifically_ told  _me_  not to follow him. But you guys are. I'll stay here." Her smile was sickeningly sweet and sinister. "We still have headpieces to talk to each other over, right? So, then grab them and lets go!!"

~~~

You hesitated entering the park, tugging at your sleeves. You were nervous as hell - what if he didn't like you? What if he ran away? What if he didn't come? What if he wasn't who he said he was? What if-

There were so many, you could do a ten paged paper, 12 point size, font in Ariel, and still not be able to answer any of them.

You had told him to be around the farthest bench to the left, which would help them out on who is who. You could see, from the hidden spot you were standing, the dark skinned male, curly haired, dressed in a white t-shirt, black suspenders, stained jeans and sneakers. His cheeks were tainted a soft red, black staining some parts of it - smudged from wiping his face probably.

This was gonna be the hardest thing you did but taking a deep breath, you stood straight and made your way towards the boy. He seemed to lighten up when he noticed you.

"King?" He called.

Yup. That was Eli.

"Hero!" You laughed, dropping your stuff and running to jump on his in a hug.

You didn't care about the stains, burying your face in his neck as all your worries from before faded. He was here, he was real, and he was  _adorable._ Pulling away and setting you down, Eli laughed and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping a spot near your ear and under your eye away. He smelt like oil and exhaust.

"Sorry about my appearance, I had to come over right away from the shop and I didn't have time to clean up or change."

In an instant, you were intrigued, sitting on the bench quickly. "You work in a shop?" You asked.

He smiled and laughed, "Yeah! A car shop, I help out with fixing cars and building more parts for them."

"Oh my gosh, you're a mechanic."

Elijah laughed again and nodded. "Yup." He began explaining his job and what he did as you asked questions, intrigued beyond anything.

~~~

"Hey, Adrien?" The small black Kwami poked his head out of the said boy's jacket.

Adrien excused himself from the group to head to the bathroom and hid in a stall. "You should know not to speak up around other people!" He scolded.

Plagg huffed, "Whatever. Regarding Y/n, you might have a rival. The way he was looking at the new guy was... not just friendliness."

The blonde sighed and nodded, slightly annoyed and possessive. "I know. We'll talk to him tonight."

**Words: 900 something. Over 950 at least.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda a mess. I mean, this whole book is so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I do some surveys for you guys to take to chose what happens next in each chapter because I'm running out of ideas here.
> 
> Here's a small nightmare chapter as well, my sadistic lovelies.
> 
> I'm also sick and I feel like shit but okay. You guys will possibly get a treat too so be ready and have tissues nearby.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: THERE WILL BE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND NIGHTMARE-ISH REALITY THING. I believe that's it. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND KNOW THAT I WARNED YOU IF ANY OF THIS DOES TRIGGER YOU AND BRING BACK OLD MEMORIES OR ANYTHING ELSE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT ANY HARMFUL ACTIONS DESCRIBED IN THIS CHAPTER. I BEG OF YOU PLEASE DON'T.

You were afraid of sleep.

It wasn't the fear of drifting off into dreamland where you would confront your biggest fears on those horrendous nightmares.

No.

You dealt with memories.

Memories of your pain.

Your past.

Your friends.

Your family.

And your fears as well.

You nightmares would remind you of your worthlessness.

Of your failures.

Your hatred.

Your wishes.

These wishes weren't ones that were happy, an example being: 'I wish I had a puppy' or something along those lines.

No.

Your wishes were horrible. 

Deadly.

A wish to be run over in traffic when you crossed the street.

A wish to starve to death when you don't eat for a few days.

A wish to fall off the railing and into the river when you walk along the bridges.

A wish that someone would come along and shoot you.

A wish to fall off the Eiffel Tower when you sat up there.

A wish to have never been born.

There were plenty more. None of which were all that great for any other's to hear.

Hell, you hated telling yourself them sometimes.

But no, that wasn't even half of it.

It wasn't just 'I lowkey wish to die somehow, someway, without it being by my own hand just so it isn't considered suicide.'

No.

It was also the fear of what would happen if that did happen.

If you were to die, somehow, how would everyone react?

Would they get mad?

Would they be in pain?

Would they try to join you?

Would they get depressed and suicidal, too?

What if it didn't work as planned and you ended up in the hospital?

What about all the money your parents or someone would have to pay for a funeral or hospital bills?

What if you didn't get a funeral?

What if no one actually cared?

What if...

The number of questions littered your mind, the answers out of reach. You hated it.

Practically gasping for air, you lurched up into a sitting position and pressed your hand against your chest, frantically grasping the choker and necklace. It was still there. Good. It's there. You haven't lost it yet.

With a sigh, you lied back down. The hard surface was cold but had a comforting feeling to it as you curled up and closed your eyes again. The thought of even getting up to walk around made you cringe. The idea of having to get up and get ready for... whatever you needed to do was mentally draining. Not that you weren't already drained. The heaviness in your limbs made it harder to pick yourself up, and even the thought was painful. 

Tired, dead eyes stared ahead in the dark, empty vastness. Well aware this was a dream or a nightmare, you sighed, unable to do anything about it. People called it lucid dreaming - the only thing was that you were unable to control anything about it. Normally, every time you slept you'd be able to remember everything and relive it.

You hated it.

It gave you the reason why you hated being around certain people - or hell, people in general. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the panic attacks or anxiety.

When was it ever worth it, anyway.

You wanted to wake up and not deal with this bullshit - to open your eyes to the real world and...

No.

The real world was shit.

You wanted to die.

You wanted to deal with those consequences instead.

No one else cared right?

Dear hell... You rolled over and draped your arm over your eyes and sighed. Were you dreaming in a dream? Were you even asleep was the real question or was it just really dark.

Forcing yourself to stand, you felt around till you bumped into a wall, then felt around for a light switch.

Nope, you weren't sleeping. Definitely awake. This was your room and - 

Holy fuck those bruises were real.

You started poking at the dark purple, blueish, blackish, greenish bruises, wincing each time you did. It kinda hurt. Not really but you were kinda hoping for it anyway. Your eyes trained on your arm and shirtless torso - littered with bruises and cuts here and there. A large bruise circled around your sternum - obviously from your father the night before when he had pinned you with his foot. He was lucky to have not broken it.

Shaking out of your trance of staring at your wounds, you shuffled over to the bathroom to clean up. Or make a larger mess. You didn't know yet. There was the whole mental debate on whether or not you should do anything...

Were you sure you were awake?

Nothing felt real - the tile and door, the wood, metal, everything. As your hand guided over it, it was as if you were petting a really fluffy dog. There was barely any type of texture other than fuzzy and furry.

You pinched yourself in the arm, barely able to feel a slight pain.

.

.

.

Pain.

Almost on instinct, you opened the drawer and took off the fake bottom, picking up the broken razor blades on the bottom.

You were awake, right? If you were, you'd be able to feel this.

Bringing the blade to your shoulder, you began to make small, horizontal cuts; watching as the blood rolled down your shoulder, you smiled and continued to make more. The pain was addicting - to know that you were awake and alive. You wanted more of it.

You moved to your other shoulder, creating more wounds there. Holy fuck, it was addicting and you  _loved it_.

It was all short-lived, though. Th blade was smacked for your hands, your wrists grabbed and back slammed against the wall (softer than when your father had done it though). Your eyes closed tightly as a soft yelp escaped your lips, waiting for a hand to hit your cheek.

_"Are you fucking stupid?!"_

Your blue eyes met with angry, green ones as you opened them. Chat held you against the wall, pinning you to it, in fear and anger. His eyes left yours to stare at your shoulders, sneering.

"What the fuck made you think this was a good idea?" He growled, harshly moving you to sit on the toilet while he rummaged through your medicine cabinet and under the sink for supplies. "Why the hell would you hurt yourself like this?"

Caught red-handed - you had nothing to say. You could only look down in shame and silence.

The blonde held no sympathy as you flinched against the disinfectant. "I came to check up on you and your Kwami, Foxxie, dragged me in here. They sounded scared and were in hysterics - said, you wouldn't listen to them. I was lucky enough to come in when I did."

"Who would've thought," you laughed softly, voice raspy, "the black cat's lucky."

Chat growled at you.

"I thought cats purr, not growl."

"Shut the fuck up." He pressed the cotton ball against your shoulder with more force, causing a hiss to leave you. "You just can't be left out of sight, can't you?" He muttered, wrapping your arms when he finished cleaning them.

You remained silent. Chat sighed and stood up, going to the sink to wash off the blood from his claws.

"Look, I'm not pissed at you - I'm more disappointed and upset that you would do something like this." He crouched again, this time in your field of vision. "There has to be a healthier way to cope with-"

He didn't finish his sentence as you pulled him closer by his cheeks and kissed him deeply, practically sliding from the toilet to be level with him - although you were shorter.

Chat didn't fight - too shocked to really move but his hands rested on your arms, just below the wounds.

You pulled back, resting your forehead on his, eyes closed. "Help me feel  _something_ ," you begged, " _please._  I hate this numbing feeling - it's almost to the point where I can't feel anything without it seeming like a dream; that's why I did this. That's why I harmed myself. I just want to feel something -  _anything._ "

The desperation in your voice was almost painful to hear for Chat. He wanted to help - hell, his body was practically begging him to do something to help him but he had to be rational, he couldn't do it.

Chat stuttered, "I-I... I'm sorry but I... can't - I don't know  _how._ "  _It's not right..._

Your hands cupped his cheeks, thumbs barely grazing Chat's mask. " _Adrien..._ " You dropped your head to his shoulder, arms wrapping around his neck.

Half of him wanted to say  _fuck it_ and do as you asked. The other half wanted to get up and leave so he didn't have to deal with it.

You wanted to feel something. Chat wanted to help you... but he didn't want to be used and he doubted you did either.

The cat drew in a sharp breath as you pressed his back against the wall and sat on his legs, pulling your head off his shoulder to beg. He was practically crumbling under your eyes - you were practically on the verge of crying and Chat's heart was breaking.

Chat sighed and dropped his head.  _Fuck it..._  "One time. This one time only, okay?"

You nodded, "I just need to feel something."

He raised his head to face you, his lips pressing against yours softly at first. Your hands threaded through his hair, gripping it here and there and tugging softly, pulling a soft groan from the blonde below you.

_"Please..."_  you whispered again.

~~~~ **(ImanassholeIknow)** ~~~~

The pounding on your door violently shook you from sleep, causing you to also accidentally smack the person beside you.

Oh, fuck.

You almost fell off the bed in fear - only not falling as Adrien caught your wrist and pulled you back up, holding a finger to his lips.

Oh,  _fuck your hips hurt._

You nodded and stood up, with his help, pointing to the bathroom as you grabbed a t-shirt and some boxers, throwing Adrien his clothes. As the bathroom door shut and locked, you opened your door (after making sure all marks were covered) and stared at your father.

"Get your shit ready for school, I only came up to wake you."

Oh, fuck... it was Thursday. Quadruple fuck.

You nodded as he left and you closed your door again, locking it and sighing in relief. You motioned for Adrien to come out when he checked, fully clothed. You just leaned against the door in the shirt and boxers, not moving to get dressed.

Everything had come back to crash down on you.  _You fucking used Adrien practically against his will._  Didn't you feel like a piece of shit because if it.

"I'm...  _so_  sorry, Adrien... About last night..." you wrapped your arms around yourself. "I... uh, I understand if you want to avoid me even more."

What you were expecting was possible silence, Adrien to smack you, him to say something about it, or maybe him leaving. What you didn't expect was for Adrien to stand in front of you, tilt your head up, and kiss you softly.

He pulled away after a few seconds, using his thumbs to wipe under your eyes. "Don't worry much about it, okay? You..." he sighed and smiled, "you needed it and I was only helping."

Your chest tightened painfully as you smiled back. "No feelings attached, right?"

Adrien shook his head. "Not unless they're wanted."

You wanted to cry but instead, you nodded. "Okay. You should... you should head out from the balcony to avoid my parents and I guess... I'll see you at school."

He nodded. "Try and help us patrol tonight as well. If you can't just let me know."

He called for Plagg, who gave you a smirk, and transformed, leaving quickly.

The second the balcony door was shut, you broke down and began bawling. You fucking  _used_ him and for what? What did you gain? Absolutely nothing! Oh, wait, you gained awkwardness, fear, anxiety, throbbing hips.

Foxxie flew over and sat on your arm, softly stroking your jaw. They had nothing to say, just allowing you to cry.

"I'm... I'm sorry Foxxie but..." You couldn't finish the sentence but the small Kwami seemed to get the message.

"It's okay," they smiled sadly, "I can understand. You remember where Master Fu is, right?"

You nodded and reached around to take off the choker. "It was fun enough while it lasted," you muttered.

Foxxie laughed sadly and smiled wide, hugging your cheek. "Yeah! I hope... I wish the best for you, Y/n."

They disappeared into the chain as you took it off and moved to place it into its box, forcing yourself not to cry again. You'll have to tell Chat you won't be helping, ever, and you'd have to visit Master Fu sometime today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I'm an asshole. I told y'all to have tissues nearby, didn't I?
> 
> Also, I suck at writing smut or anything like that so if anyone wants to write one for me, I will gladly put it in here as a special and you will get all the credit and I really just want some Chat/Adrien and Male Reader smut please.
> 
> I'm also not sorry for this mess of a chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. You guys get somewhat of a treat. Maybe.
> 
> Me *as the reader*: I need the romance. We need smut. We need more love. Y/N NEEDS SOME LOVE. ADRIEN NEEDS TO BE POSSESSIVE OVER THE SMALL BABY AND FIGHT ETHAN. I NEED MORE FLUFF. WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER COMING OUT!?!?!?
> 
> Me *as the writer*: We're gonna just kill this character more, mentally. And then add a bit of salt to this wound here. We need more hate and abuse on this character, make them even more hurt than before. I'm gonna stall this next chapter for a few more weeks because... I lost track of what I was writing. When did this happen to this character? Oh, then, okay. I need to reread this chapter for a twenty-thousandth time.

Your neck felt cold as you dragged yourself to school. Your footsteps heavy against the concrete. More than once, you caught yourself rubbing your neck in search of the familiar choker and pendant. You'll have to get a new choker in place of it - you didn't like the feeling of not having anything around your neck, made you feel naked.

Was there a way to avoid Ethan, Adrien, and Chloe? How about just avoiding school altogether? That sounded better. Just lock yourself in your room and never come out. You could die there and it would be great.

You winced when the shoulder strap rubbed your arm wrong, fixing it quickly to avoid more irritation and itching. They already itched enough - you didn't need more. Nor did you need to start bleeding and worry everybody; Adrien was already worried enough.

You began picking at a loose string on your bag while making your way up the stairs, avoiding interaction with anyone. At least until you accidentally got into Chloe's way. She scoffed loudly when your shoulder brushed hers, pushing you off her and onto the ground. Your ass was  _burning_  from that, flashbacks from last night reminding you why it still burned.

_One hand gripped your thigh tightly, the other just above your head as Adrien moved positions, hitting something that felt **amazing**. You cried out loudly, hands flailing everywhere to hold onto something, finally settling on scratching his back and tangling in his hair. He curled your hips up further, almost pushing you in half as he continued hitting that lovely place. His green eyes, half-lidded and hazed over in lust, bore into yours in something else but you were too far gone to even try to think about what it was._

"Watch where you're going, loser," Chloe said, flicking her hair and stepping around you.

A pair of hands helped you up as, obviously, you were unable to (painfully) get up yourself. A familiar silver ring glinted on their left ring finger, settling on your waist as you tried to steady yourself on your feet. Your hands instinctively moved to their shoulders to have some sense of balance.

_Your back hit the wall lightly, Adrien (who had de-transformed a few seconds before) stood right in front of you, his fingertips just barely grazing your boxer-brief covered hips but just enough for you to feel them. Your hands found his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt tighter than expected, pulling him closer until his hips bumped against yours, your legs opening so his slipped between._

"Y/n, are you okay? You seem a bit out of it..."

Ethan's voice snapped you from the memory, his hand squeezing your hips a little. You jumped away from him and laughed nervously. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm, I'm good..."

You spun around to get away from him, almost smacking into Adrien - who dropped his bag to grab your arms and steady you. Your hands shot to his, wide eyes staring deeply into his, almost as if you were in a trance and couldn't break free.

_"No feelings attached, right?" Adrien asked, brushing back your hair from your eyes._

_You shook your head, raking your own fingers through his hair. "None at all."_

_Just barely did you hear him mutter 'good' before his lips met yours softly, the desperation growing quickly as he pushed you into the wall harder, hips grinding against yours. His hands hooked under your ass, tapping it softly to give you a clue to jump. The second you did, he pushed you into the wall harder, your legs wrapped around his waist tightly._

You wanted out.

Out of the corner of your eye, Marinette practically seethed with Alya holding her back.

"Sorry. Lo Siento," you muttered, pulling back and rushing into the school while rubbing your sore arms,

You couldn't be near anyone anymore. It was painful. Especially being around Adrien. 

You wanted Cameron back. They always knew how to handle a situation like this. They knew everything. Especially everything about you. They picked up everything about you - from why you acted a certain way to stating to predict how you would act towards something.

Now you had no one to even do anything. Fuck, you were lonely. Last night didn't help either.

No feelings attached.

Heh.

No feelings attached your ass.

You craved the feeling again. After years of not having it, you wanted it again. It wasn't good. Not at all - you didn't need the attachment.

The next few days went by in flashes - you hardly remembered anything. You did remember ignoring everyone the whole week, bringing Foxxie back to Master Fu, - you said your last goodbyes to the small wolf before leaving forever - got into a fight with Ethan and earned a black eye and bruises (Adrien, Nino, and many others had to hold you both back from each other). 

And each day always started with a flashback of those moments with Adrien Agreste.

You wanted to smash your skull against the wall just from the thought of it.

With a deep sigh, you sat against the bottom leg of the Eiffel Tower, now having no way of getting up there at night; especially in the dark.

Not like you cared much anyway - people weren't out this late at night.

Unless you counted Chat Noir and Ladybug. They usually patrolled until three in the morning around the whole city. There was a definite possibility you might run into them. 

_Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly as something to ground you, your legs flailing and trying to tighten around his waist but your strength was leaving you as pleasure replaced it. Two of his fingers slipped past the tight ring of muscle, wet with lube and spit. You gasped, your head thrown back against the wall, moaning and writhing in his arms. Adrien had a tight enough grip on you, pressing you against the wall to make sure you don't fall from him._

With a loud groan, you dragged your nails from your forehead down your face, hitting the back of your head against the metal of the Tower.

"You keep doing that, you'll give yourself a concussion."

Your body shuddered at the sound of Chat's voice, repeating your action. "Hopefully, it'll kill me."

The boy knelt beside you, concerned. "That's not a good hope." His hand weaved through your hair, pulling it back softly - pretty much just petting you. "You're upset, Y/n."

Despite how much you wanted to make a sarcastic response to his obvious observation, you remained quiet instead and curled up around your legs. There wasn't any more hiding it from him and you knew this but you hardly cared anymore. In response, you just shrugged and looked away from him. 

"Y/n, look at me, please," he pleaded softly, rubbing your arms. "I want to help you. I'm worried about you."

You shook your head and remained in the same position.

Chat sighed. "Plagg, claws in."

You didn't have to look up to know he was detransforming, the small black cat Kwami flying into his hand possibly looking for food. Now you really didn't want to look up.

_Adrien tightened his grip on you as he moved from the wall to your bed, dropping you in the middle, grabbing your ankles and dragging your legs off the bed as he knelt in between them. You whined loudly, toes curling as his hands ran up your thigh, one dipping back down towards your ass while the other heading towards your dripping cock, only passing it instead._

_Fucking tease._

_You whined a bit louder, refusing to beg but needing the friction._

Adrien's arm rested on your shoulders as he sat next to you, pulling you against his side. "You gave up your miraculous, didn't you?" He asked in a small voice. You nodded but didn't answer anymore. "You should've told me before you did. I might've been able to help you."

"I couldn't deal with the pressure and everything," you tried to explain, "It was a responsibility I wasn't able to hold anymore."

He didn't press any further, moving to stand up and tugging softly at your wrist. "Come on, let's get you home."

You shook your head but stood up, heavily. "I don't wanna go back. Not yet or tonight. Please... Don't leave me..."

Adrien nodded slowly, wrapping his arm around your waist so he could guide you, not risking the chance of someone seeing him transform. Besides, the mansion wasn't that far off. You could stay there for the night. If he could get in without anyone knowing... which would mean he has to transform anyway... fucking dammit.

With a loud groan, Adrien dragged you off to an alley, letting you lean on the wall as he checked around for anyone else around. Finding no one, he called out Plagg and transformed once again, picking you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, as one of his hands held you up and steady against him. Neither of you said anything the whole way to his home. You refused to let go of him the second his feet hit the floor or even when he muttered about needing to detransform.

"You can cling to me after I get out of this, okay?" He stated quietly, walking to his bed.

Reluctantly, you slid down from him and lied on the bed, your back facing away from the boy, curling up. Ashamed could be one word - you wanted to hide from him, hide your face away from him and not stare into his eyes or be reminded of the fact that you  _kinda_  had a one night stand with him.

The bed dipped as Adrien sat down on the edge and stilled when he remained there.  _Contemplating_  was all you could think of to describe what he might be doing. ( **First of all, did you see what I did there?)** You didn't want to turn around or move from your spot, afraid.

Was that all you ever were? Afraid? You were scared of so many things, it fucked with your normal life.

Afraid of rejection.

Afraid of making friends.

Afraid of meeting new people.

Afraid of being alone.

Afraid of letting people in.

Afraid of the dark.

Afraid of facing your problems.

_Afraid of living._

You wanted to disappear again. That was probably a normal thought. Disappearing and not dealing with anything. You weren't very good at it.

"Y/n..." Adrien started, shifting around to most likely face you. Still, you remained silent and motionless. "Are you... mad at me? Or something along that? You've been avoiding me after that one night and maybe I overstepped my boundaries, I'm so sorry if I did, but I don't know-" He stopped himself, choking on the words.

_Fuck, he was starting to feel guilty about something that wasn't even a thing._

You made a noise, pressing your face into the sheets. "No, no." Your voice muffled, but you muttered it loud enough for him to possibly understand and hear.

Adrien sighed, possibly in relief. "Then, what is it?" He asked, "If I didn't do anything wrong, why are you avoiding me?"

You didn't want to answer.

  _Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking heeeeell._

"It's complicated," you answered shortly. 

You violently flinched as Adrien placed his hand on your back, then pulled away.

He made a frustrated noise. "Is it too much to ask for a simple explanation?" His hand returned to your back, eliciting another less-violent flinch but this time he didn't move. "You're not leaving... are you?" Your hands wound into the sheets and tightened but you remained silent. "Don't do this to yourself, Y/n. Let me help you."

"There's nothing you can do," you finally replied, quietly.

Adrien hooked his arms under yours and pulled you up. "There's gotta be something."

You scoffed, "Let me rephrase that,  _I don't want you to help me._  I don't want help. I just want to disappear." 

The blonde said nothing, pulling you over and wrapping his arms around your frame, holding you against him. You wanted nothing more than to push yourself on his lap and relive that night.

Seems Adrien thought the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an asshole. I know. You're welcome. ;)


	16. *Edited and More Added*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I have to force myself through my own embarrassment to write this. It's only taken sixteen chapters to figure "hey I should write this sometime" cause it's either this chapter or a one-shot thing of Bakugou/Midoriya/Kirishima/Todoroki/Male Reader because I will die with them. If one of those boys punched me, I'd thank them. Especially is Shinsou Hitoshi punched me, I'd fucking thank him.
> 
> I'm using 3rd pov for this shit because fuck saying 'you' all the time
> 
> I actually predicted in the "Sneak Peak" that I would post some sort of smut around ten-fifteen chapters. Fifteen chapters later, finally at chapter sixteen, here's some smut. You deserve it.
> 
> I'm spoiling y'all here. So, be ready and help yourself. And don't read this in a public place.
> 
> I'M FUCKING WHEEZING AS I WRITE THIS BECAUSE HOW DO I DO THIS
> 
> WHAT IS SEX
> 
> HOW DOES THE SEX WORK
> 
> I DON'T UNDERSTAND
> 
> I've officially stopped caring, I just wanna get this done and over with. It's at the point where nothing is bothering me at the moment.
> 
> These are my 'I'm stalling' notes
> 
> Edit: So, the smut was finished by @XO_Lisabeth (on Wattpad) and all I did was edit it (a lot, sorry) and add more if it was needed. So, thank you so much for the ending I couldn't come up with myself!

Adrien's hands hooked under Y/n's thighs, forcefully dragging you over his own legs for a more comfortable position, and so he didn't have to be leaning over on his hand to reach you. Besides, his hand was cramping, he wanted Y/n closer, to feel the boy against him and know he wasn't going anywhere. Adrien needed to know Y/n wasn't leaving. His hands grasped Y/n's thighs tightly, leaving pinkish imprints when he finally moved, seeking for more exposed flesh to grab onto, rushing under the smaller boy's shirt and tugging it up. Y/n whined softly when Adrien had pulled his lips away, working to quickly rid Y/n of the cloth before leaning back in, one hand tracing small designs on his back while the other gripped the back of Y/n's head tightly, pressing him closer, harder.

Y/n had pulled back this time, reluctantly, greedily gasping for air as Adrien moved down to Y/n's neck, working to resurface the multiple dark marks he had left the last time. He could feel every hum and moan that Y/n tried to hide, spending more time kissing around Y/n's Adam's apple than anywhere else.

"Mmm, what happened to no feelings attached?" Y/n muttered, hands tugging at Adrien's locks so he could look at him.

Adrien tucked his head under Y/n's chin, tracing the bone with his tongue until he got to the boy's ear, nibbling at the lobe. "That was last time, screw no feelings anymore," he replied. His hands slid down Y/n's back, grabbing onto his ass and pulling him closer.

Y/n didn't reply, tilting his head to the side, softly rolling his hips as if testing the waters. A low rumble of a moan hardly left his lips while Adrien hummed and vigorously rolling Y/n's hip again, biting as much skin as he could.

It was wrong. This was  _wrong._  Adrien shouldn't be doing this; he should be consoling Y/n, not fucking him. But his body refused to follow his mind and continued to pull Y/n closer, littering hickeys all over the boy's chest. His hands wandered up and down Y/n's back, dragging his blunt nails down here and there, drinking in every moan that left the ravenette. Y/n grabbed Adrien's hair, pulling his head back and capturing his lips again, both fighting for the dominance they both knew was going to Adrien anyway.

Y/n's knees pressed into the bed on either side of Adrien's legs, pushing him up just a bit more. Adrien grabbed the boy's hips, pulling him back down, groaning as Y/n rocked against Adrien's clothed erection. The blonde squeezed his hips tighter, holding him down, rocking the smaller boy against his hips. Y/n's head fell onto Adrien's shoulder, biting the skin to repress his moans.

"Now's a  _really good time_  to stop me if you don't want to continue," Adrien muttered, licking Y/n's neck softly.

Y/n's jaw slackened on Adrien's shoulder pulling away to examine his work. The mark was bright red and bleeding. Good. "Why the hell would I want to do that?" He mused, humming and he pushed Adrien onto his back, rocking his hips a bit more.

He stood up and got off the bed.

_Y/n fucking **stood up** and got  **off Adrien and the bed altogether.**_

Adrien stared after the smaller boy--who was also baring a  _rock solid hard-on--_  as he walked towards the couch and plopped down, curling his legs up to hide his erection. "What the fuck." Fell from the blonde's lips.

The ravenette perked up and barely turned his head towards Adrien. "Oh, I'm sorry,  _did you need something?"_

Adrien didn't answer, his green orbs following Y/n's hand down his legs and between them, slipping out of the constricting materials. Left in only a shirt, Y/n lied sideways on the couch, out of Adrien's view, and stuck two fingers in his mouth, the other hand making itself busy with his cock, only to stop and rest at his side.

He pressed his face into the couch, muffling his moans and slipping one finger through the tight ring of muscles. He bit down on the white leather at the feeling, stilling himself to get used to it.

The blonde boy pulled himself from the bed, striding towards the couch in slight pain from the tight jeans. They only tightened impossibly more when Y/n finally came into his field of vision. He stood near the armrest, eyes trained on the boy's hand stretching himself out. He only looked away when Y/n let a breathy laugh leave him, staring at Adrien from the corner of his eye.

"Are you just going to stand there or get over here?" He reached out with his unoccupied hand, turning to bite his bicep as he added a second finger. He lazily dragged them in and out, meeting Adrien's eyes as he rounded the couch the stand in front of Y/n.

The second he was within reach, Y/n grabbed his belt and dragged him closer, working as fast as he could with one hand to take it off. Adrien gasped, laughed, and steadied himself with one hand winding in Y/n's hair. "Eager much?" He teased.

Y/n stopped trying to undo his pants, instead going to grasp Adrien's cock through his jeans tightly. The victim groaned in pain, tightening his grip on Y/n's hair. "Shut up," Y/n growled, resuming his work to take off the barrier.

He had barely stilled his own fingers, no longer moving them much besides wiggling them slowly or scissoring himself. He finally removed the barrier, hardly taking a breath as he swallowed down half of his cock. Adrien gasped, having to grab the back of the couch to keep from falling. Out of the other two, three times they've fucked, Y/n never did this. But  _fuck, was he good at it._

"Sl-slow down!" Adrien choked, moaning.

He tightened his grip around Y/n's hair, pulling him back. Y/n gasped, coughing and Adrien almost whined at the loss. He didn't say anything, instead opting for staring up at the blonde for reasoning. He dragged his fingers from Y/n's hair slowly, moving them to cup is cheeks, wiping away the spit that smeared along his lips. Y/n opened his mouth, taking in his thumb, lightly sucking on it. He retracted his other hand from his ass, wincing.

A soft smile dotted Adrien's face. He pulled his hand from Y/n, motioning for the boy to stand. Y/n did so without hesitation, leaning on Adrien's shoulder when he did. Adrien cupped Y/n's face, resting their foreheads together. "Safe word?"

"Cat," Y/n muttered, snickering at the choice, "or wolf."

Adrien nodded. "Good. Now, will you do everything I tell you?"

Y/n only answered with a soft kiss. "Of course I will."

"Good. Now, on the bed, on your hands and knees."

As Y/n complied with Adrien's order, he felt a sudden lick up the side of his neck. Y/n shivered, gasped at the sudden contact, and ground on Adrien's hard erection. He tried his best to stifle a groan as Adrien's hand left a bright red imprint on his left cheek.

"Don't you dare muffle those moans," he muttered.

He teased and pulled at Y/n's perked buds, eliciting more muffled and bit-back groans. Y/n bent his head down and bit on his wrist, not wanting to give Adrien the satisfaction of hearing his moans. Adrien needed to earn them if he wanted to hear the ravenette. Y/n knew almost exactly what buttons to push to rile the dominant even more.

The green-eyed boy caught on to what Y/n was attempting to do, attacking Y/n's neck even more than he had been. Sucking and biting on Y/n's sweet-spot, he drew blood and smirked as low moans erupted from the H/C-haired boy, still muffled by his wrist. Annoyed, Adrien grasped Y/n's hair tightly and yanked him up, earning himself a gasp and moans.

Fuck being a slight masochist. Y/n's eyes trailed to the side, hoping Adrien didn't hear him. Just his luck though, Adrien did and tightened his grip even more.

"You like that?" Adrien nipped at Y/n's earlobe. "You like when I pull your hair?"

Where was this dominance the last two times they did anything? Y/n huffed, arching his back to get his head closer to Adrien's and hopefully loosen the grip on his hair. The latter failed but Adrien did move his head closer to capture Y/n's lips in a rough kiss full of tongue and teeth.

Adrien's unoccupied arm pressed flat against Y/n's chest, hoisting him up and onto Adrien's lap. The blonde groaned at the pressure against his cock but held back, moving the hand that was in Y/n's hair to his chin to keep his head tilted towards him. The unoccupied hand began trailing down Y/n's body, skipping past the boy's straining cock and under his thigh, spreading his legs more.

"Lube?" Y/n muttered, pulling back, panting.

Adrien dropped his head onto Y/n's shoulders and pointed towards his nightstand. "I took it out when you moved but didn't grab it," he admitted, dropping his arms so Y/n could move and grab it. He gave a sheepish smile when the boy came back, facing him, and set the lube in Adrien's hands.

Y/n lied on his back, spreading his legs as wide as he could physically could without straining himself, and winked at Adrien. Lathering his fingers in the clear, slippery substance, Adrien prodded at Y/n barely stretched hole, letting a finger lazily slip in, drinking in every soft moan that left his lover.

"I'm not some glass pottery you can break," Y/n growled. He pressed his hips down, trying to slip Adrien's finger further, although to no avail as the boy just pulled back. "Get on with it."

Adrien only continued to lazily drag his finger in and out. "You gotta tell me what you want or else I won't know what to do." He propped his chin upon his other hand, lying on his stomach.

Y/n growled. "You want me to  _beg_." 

Adrien shrugged. "Precisely. Or I could leave and get myself off."

"Iwantyoutofuckme," Y/n murmured fast, turning to hide his face in his arm.

"What was that?" Adrien teased, moving to lick a stripe up the underside of Y/n's cock.

A string of pre-cum connected the head of it to the boy's midsection.

Y/n gripped the sheets tightly and bit his bicep. "I want you to fuck me!"

"With what?" Adrien littered soft kisses along Y/n's thighs.

Throwing his pride away, Y/n repeated, "I want you to fuck me with your cock. I want you inside of me."

Adrien smiled. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?" He sat up and grabbed a condom off the nightstand.

The blonde rolled the condom on with one hand, pulling Y/n up by the nape of his neck with the other, kissing him. Whilst Y/n was distracted, Adrien lined himself up and pushed past the tight ring of muscle. Both participants gasped, Y/n more so out of pain than pleasure. Adrien continued to slowly press himself in until he bottomed out, giving Y/n enough time to get used to his size.

"So fucking  _tight_ ," Adrien breathed, letting Y/n lie on his back while he held himself up with shaking arms.

Y/n replied with a whine, testing the waters by rolling his hips. A shock of pleasure ran up his spine, settling in his core. Adrien restrained from snapping his hip forward.

Giving it a few more moments, Y/n finally relaxed a bit more, wrapping his legs around Adrien's waist, inching his hip a little higher.

Taking the okay, Adrien slowly pulled out and snapped his hips back. Y/n cried out in bliss, throwing his head back into the pillow. Adrien moved one hand to grab Y/n waist with enough force to bruise him and picked up a rhythm.

"F-Fuck, faster please!" Y/n moaned. Complying, Adrien said nothing in reply.

The blond-headed boy moved his hand from Y/n's hip to his cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts. The smaller boy's eyes rolled back into his head, grasping the sheets and pillows tightly. At one point, he moved his hand to his hair and pulled at it.

"Choke me," Y/n demanded, pulling harder at his black locks.

Adrien slowed, almost to a stop. "What?"

Y/n huffed and grabbed the hand beside his head, wrapping the slim digits around his neck and slowly adding some pressure before setting his hands back where they were before. "Choke. Me."

"Kinky," Adrien laughed. He tightened his grip slightly, watching for any signs of uncomfort from the smaller boy, and picked up his previous pace.

Y/n could just barely gasp as Adrien leaned his weight onto his neck, pulling a few strands of hair out as he tightened his grip. Adrien swiped his thumb over Y/n's slit, lightly pressing down on it, twisting his wrist and quickening his pace.

Broken gasps and moans fell from Y/n's open mouth. He was hardly able to get out some words, his back arching as he came over Adrien's hand and both their chests. Adrien loosened his hand around the boy's throat and grasped his hips, quickening his pace to catch up to his own orgasm.

After a few more thrusts, Adrien came deep within Y/n, the younger's name leaving his lips. His arms shook as he pulled out of Y/n, took off and tied the condom, threw it away, and lied beside the panting on-the-brink-of-unconsiousness boy. Heavy breathing was the only thing heard and once the pair calmed down, Adrien broke the silence.

"You alright?" He asked, "I didn't hurt you, right?"

"Only my pride," Y/n snorted, shifting to curl up onto Adrien's chest. He slightly cringed at the feeling of cold cum dripping from his ass but didn't bother with it.

Adrien took notice of the cringe and stood up to grab a wet washcloth, wiping him down. "Sorry about that."

Y/n only hummed in acknowledgment, letting the warm cloth soothe him. Adrien finished and threw it in the direction of the bathroom, sinking back into the bed and gathering Y/n in his arms. Y/n frowned as he drifted off.

_He never meant to get this close to anyone._

~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT, I'M SORRY BUT HERE'S ALL I COULD DO.
> 
> I don't know how to write sex
> 
> At all
> 
> Like
> 
> How
> 
> Help
> 
> Please
> 
> I got so far, tho. Only so far.
> 
> So, short story time
> 
> I looked up 'how to write smut' and this thing on ArchiveOfOurOwn showed up so, of course, I went to read it and on #8 when it was talking about genitals and who had what and shit.
> 
> Fucking boys
> 
> "Peen peen"
> 
> I couldn't stop laughing for so long and I couldn't look at my computer without dying. I couldn't fucking breath.
> 
> So, naturally, I scrolled down, skimmed the rest, and left the site.
> 
> A few days later I went back
> 
> Reread that same thing
> 
> and the same response surfaced
> 
> I COULDN'T EVEN WRITE IT HERE WITHOUT LAUGHING.
> 
> I FUCKING CAN'T
> 
> "peen peen"
> 
> Jeezuzfuck that's gonna be the death of me
> 
> Alright, I'm done. I'll start working on the next chapter. Sorry again for the half-smut. I just can't write it. 
> 
> Edit: I still don't know how to write smut.


	17. Chapter 17

You both had woken up later, midnight most likely, and went at it again. Maybe three or more times, each one getting softer and more sensual than the last. At some point, someone had said 'I love you'; you didn't know who and it didn't register in your mind until the next day. Adrien was already up and getting ready. You rolled over in the bed, the sheets hardly covering your ass and you back littered with bite marks and scratches, staring blankly at the boy.

"Oh," Adrien sighed, "You're up. I was gonna head out and grab some pastries for you and I. You don't have to get up if you don't want to."

Humming in response, you turned so your back was towards him and the light that was filtering through the windows. Adrien walked over, taking the sheet and pulling it up just a bit more to cover most of your back, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your head before he left the room, locking the door as a just-in-case.

Almost out of instinct, you muttered, "He's gone now," as if to alert your  Kwami to come out of hiding.

Oh.

Right.

Foxxie was with Master Fu.

Cameron's Kwami wasn't around.

You were alone. Completely and utterly alone now.

Your throat started to burn, eyes beginning to water as you curled into a ball on the bed, dragging the sheet with you. You gave up Foxxie. You were no longer a miraculous holder. You were no longer a hero-not that you were anyway; you didn't do anything to ever help the Akuma attacks in Paris, you hardly did anything but run around and cause Chat trouble...  _Adrien_ trouble...

What a fool you were.

A nasal voice spoke up from the nightstand, startling you almost out of the bed. "You seem a little stressed there."

A small, black cat-looking Kwami sat on a small tin on the nightstand, eating bits and pieces of cheese. Right. You forgot that Adrien was Chat Noir for a second and had a Kwami. It took you a moment to calm down, working to cover most of your body-despite sitting up and making it harder-while staring at the small being,  _naked._

"You don't have to worry about covering up all that much," he shrugged and popped another piece in his mouth then spoke with it full. "I've been around long enough to not care about naked humans anymore."

Foxxy was normally bothered a bit by it and had to turn away.

You nodded slowly, letting the sheet drop onto your lap. "You're... Chat Noir's Kwami, right?"

"' name's Plagg. I'm the Kwami of destruction and yes, Chat Noir's Kwami. And Adrien's- Shoot, lie down or something, act asleep." He became panicked, flying inside an open, hopefully empty, bottle.

Confused, you leaned towards the bottle. "Why?"

"His dad!"

The only hint you got before the voices of Gabrielle Agreste and Nathalie came from behind the door. You mentally cursed and lied down quickly, pulling the sheet up to your shoulders and grabbing a blanket to cover even more. Facing the wall, you focused on breathing slowly and calmly, trying to fake being asleep and not about to freak out.

_"I don't believe Adrien-"_  the door opened, "said anything about having another person over, unless it's that Y/n boy." Nathalie seemed to have remained near the door as Gabrielle walked closer to the bed.

"He also didn't say anything about going out this early and leaving the boy or anything about him sleeping over."

He was standing right over the bed.  _He was right over you_.

You tried your best to remain calm, taking long, slightly stable breaths, trying not to sigh or breathe hard. He didn't say anything about you being awake if he noticed.

"Sir, Adrien texted saying he left to grab some pastries from Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. He will be back shortly."

Gabrielle only hummed. "Tell him I need to have a nice...  _chat_ with him when he gets back."

He turned and left the room, the door clicking shut but you were too scared to move, remaining still, although slightly shaking, with your back to the door. The only reason you even dared to move was hearing Plagg fly out of the bottle (not very gracefully). You tilted your head back to look at the Kwami, visibly shaken up and scared.

"He's gone," Plagg sighed, "The first time Adrien left without me and it was terrifying."

A puzzled look stretched across your face. "You've never been left alone at home before?"

"Not without Adrien."

You hummed. "Surprising."

Plagg flew closer, sitting on the pillow beside your head. "Did you leave your Kwami at home alone sometimes?"

"Ah, yeah, if I needed to hide them and I was going out with family or anything but, that was more often when I was in America."

"Did you leave them at home yesterday?"

Oh... right.

You forgot they weren't around.

Again.

With a shaky sigh, you swallowed and stared at the ceiling. "I... gave them back to Master Fu... I couldn't handle being a superhero and my life outside of it together."

Plagg hummed but didn't say anything. He couldn't even get a word in as Adrien rushed back through the door and locked it with a soft scowl on his face. You turned to greet him but closed your mouth quickly, noting his annoyed demeanor. He set a small bag on the nightstand and sat on the bed, digging his elbows in his knees as his hand pulled at his hair.

"Adrien?" Plagg called.

The blonde almost hit the Kwami batting him away. "I'm going to kill my father if he keeps pushing himself into my fucking business."

You gulped, pushing yourself up a bit. "If I may ask... what happened?"

"He came into my fucking room while you were sleeping and I was gone, and now he wants to talk about you sleeping over, especially about 'the fact that you're shirtless'." He used air quotes for the last part.

"I.. wasn't sleeping but yes, he did come in earlier. Not so long ago actually. You got back maybe seven minutes after he left." You sat up fully but curled in on yourself.

Adrien pulled at his hair more but let go, taking a few strands with him. "Did he notice? No, never mind. He would've talked to you about that if he noticed you were awake and would've said something about it to me..."

Softly, you reached over a set a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know if he saw me shirtless, I had the blanket and sheet tucked up to my chin but maybe he saw the clothes... scattered..." You trailed off.

Right, you forgot, again, that you both just threw your clothes across the room and Adrien normally had his stuff picked up and put away... That would've been a big sign.

Adrien leaned into your touch, scooting a bit closer.

Your fucking ass hurt. That was a great realization.

You both were silent for a moment before Adrien sighed and sat up. "You... won't tell anyone about any of this, right?"

"Of course not. I don't feel like making the media anytime soon."

He nodded. "Thank you."

Plagg gagged on the nightstand. "You're both so gross. Just admit you have feelings and get it over with."

Adrien sputtered a bit, face heating up to a bright red. You coughed, looking away and muttered, "Doubt."

The blonde didn't reply and Plagg just shrugged.

"I should... probably head home.." You started getting up but stopped, hugging the sheets. Right. You were naked.

Adrien caught on and grabbed your clothes quickly, handing them to you and turning around. Although he turned back to grab Plagg and shoved the Kwami in his shirt pocket. Shyly, you got dressed quickly and walked around to grab your shoes after, refusing to speak up about anything. Neither of you spoke up, the intensity of the situation finally dawned on you both.

"I'll... take you home," Adrien muttered, moving towards you but you backed up a bit.

You laughed nervously. "No, no, it's alright. I can walk... besides, I don't think you'd want to upset your father any more than he already is."

Adrien sighed and nodded, at least guiding you out of his room and down to the front door. You both just barely made it as Gabriel came out of his own room and called for his son.

"Adrien. You and I need to have a talk," he practically growled.

The boy winced and lightly pushed you towards the door. "I'll... see you around."

You took the hint to leave and stumbled out the door, running out of the yard. You didn't look back.

~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make it longer since I owe you guys so much after all the time I took off from writing this story. I can explain why.
> 
> I just started a new job about three weeks ago.
> 
> We put down my dog, Moose, not so long ago so I'm still coming to terms with that.
> 
> School is bothersome but that's where I'm mostly writing this but I can't have my computer out in all classes so I only have at least half an hour in certain classes to write if I even have to energy and motivation.
> 
> I'm sorry it's so short and I'm partially sorry for the cliff hanger. Just know it's not getting better anytime soon for Y/n.


	18. A/N

A shameless authors note while I figure out what the fuck I'm doing for chapter 18

and a shameless promotion.

Who likes BNHA?

Who likes Todoroki, Midoriya,  _and_ Bakugo?

And I would hope that everyone reading this book likes Reader inserts.

_Please love me and check out **Why Bother, Diverse Foundling.**_

I just want love from my readers and this book was created technically by readers answering questions about what they wanted to read.

I also promise I'm slowly working on the next chapter it's just  _holy fuck this book is hard to keep up with._ I mean, we have what happened with Adrien to deal with, Elijah, Chloe, Ethan (I still need to find stuff for him to do and how to incorporate him into chapters cause he doesn't show up much) and Y/n's family.

I also have a one shot for y'all in this that I've been working on for the past year but ya know, I'm not even halfway done with it T_T

Also, if I made a shirt wiiiiiiiiiiith

gimme a sec, i gotta send the pic to myself to put here which i have yet to do (time-stamping this at 9:58 am so y'all can see how long it takes me to do this shit)

it's 10:10 am. I got distracted...

CONTINUING THE SENTENCE FROM BEFORE

If I made a shirt with the drawing above (it's mine. I made that. I'm proud.  _mine_ ) and the quote "Love is the most fucked up drug of them all" _credit to Bmike as this is from a song and I was unaware but_ would anyone be interested in it? At all? A little? Dm me if you are and I'll send a link to where you can get it cause why not. I'm proud of my drawings and if I make them into shirts ( _more shameless self-promotion: I have two other shirts with drawings of mine on them (the drawing is my oc Wilder))_ I love it when people wear them although only my boyfriend and dad have bought them.. T_T

**_NOW IF I CAN GO BACK TO MY ORIGINAL REASON FOR THIS A/N (I got distracted, sorry)_ **

Check out Why Bother, Diverse Foundling if you're into bnha and the top 1-A three boys. Spoiler, you don't get to chose just one, you get all three.

Sorry to bother y'all. I'll leave now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized I don't know if you can Dm here so Imma get the link here. https://teespring.com/lovefuckedupdrug  
> It's here till 11/26/18 unless people want it after that date, then I can re-put it up.


End file.
